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Thread: Having a Really Hard Time

  1. #1
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    Default Having a Really Hard Time

    I don't know what's going on with me, but my depression is just out of control.
    This started around October...not too bad, but gradually increased. And no, it's not because of the time
    of year. I love the Autumn, and I love when the days get shorter and we have long nights! (I'm weird, I know).
    I like the cold. I don't like Summer...can't stand the heat! I find Summer too aggressive, and all the people
    out and about bothers me. This time of year, it's quieter, and I like that.

    I don't know if my medication isn't as effective as it should be. I don't have a psychiatrist anymore (not since
    2010, when insurance nonsense clamped down) and my GP writes my scripts. I'm on the same med, maximum dosage as I've been for years. A GP doesn't know about psych meds and can't figureout what to change. I'm
    reluctant to take any of the newer meds because of the bad side effects they all have.

    Anyway, all I know is that I feel so bad....dark and lost. I keep up my regular schedule...get up every day(in
    fact, I'm up very early, usually 4:30am...I don't sleep well) get washed, make my bed, get dressed, go downstairs and put out peanuts for the squirrels and have a cigarette. I come back up to my apartment and make some coffee, get on the computer. At 6am I get my birds up...I have 5 parrots. At 6:30 I call my boyfriend, who lives down the hall and go over to have coffee with him.

    I have my volunteer job at the zoo...I go as often as I can. I read, watch TV, play with my birds. So you see, I do keep active...I don't stay in bed vegetating.

    I'm just so sad, so bereft........

  2. #2
    Distinguished Community Member Jo6's Avatar
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    ((((Marion)))) I just read your post about the pottery. That sounds great to me. I know nothing about it, but would love to learn. I haven't drove that new ( not) mini van Ken bought me nearly 2 yrs. ago. I don't have a clue whether they would allow me to drive anymore and as time goes by the more nervous I get about it.

    I'm just gonna have to bite the bullit and see what I can do. All of my papers say "no driving" so I know I will have to get an OK from a Dr., but which one? Gads, how did I get here from there?

    Marion and Lor, I think the 2 of you have something there. Good luck and I'll be watching for progress. Maybe you will decide to sell some, make a little money if so desired? It all sounds like fun.

    Take care and good luck, Jo
    Did you ever know that you're my hero and every thing I would like to be I can fly higher than an eagle
    'cause you are the wind beneath my wings

    for my brother Ben

  3. #3
    Distinguished Community Member JanM's Avatar
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    I an so sorry you are ailing. I will put you in my prayers. God Bless
    I'm just where God wants me to be, not one step ahead nor one step behind........

  4. #4
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    fig, I'm sorry you are having a rough time of it. Keep moving you are doing the right things to fight the depression. I'm on abilify and it seems to work for me. If I keep it at 20mg I don't gain the weight.
    Take care,
    Dawn

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    Fig sorry you are feeling bad. keep up good work you do. seel better soon I hope.Pati

  6. #6
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    hello Marion, I was just thinking of you yesterday when I wasnat town with hubby. he takes grandson to krate a couple tijmes a week and I sometimes go along just to get out of house and to see grandson of course. well it is right next to pet5co where gson takes his lessons. so I went looking for animals. I have been so lonesome evert ince last dog and even my fish all died. this was 2 years ago on doggie. anyway the birds were very active and the sound made me go lookining for therm. there was only one canary and it had such aa price on it, $129.oo. wow that bird must sing, lol,

    now the parakeets were a lot cheaper, less thn $30.00 (excluding taxes). this is wha made me start thinking of you. I thought well marion could tell me all about these birds for sre. I loved one especially. it had some yellow on the tail feathers and the prettiest greedn along with his black of course. I am up early this morning myself and not liking it at al, lol. I need for the sun to be shining before I get up so to help with making me feel alive sorta. I hope you get to feeling better soon. (hugs)

  7. #7
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    fig, let us know how you are doing. Hope this finds you in a better mood. ((HUGS))
    Take care,
    Dawn

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    Hello...Thanks for your kind replies. I'm doing alright, still feeling really down, but keeping busy and keeping my mind
    occupied. It helps. The birds, of course, are life savers.

    And speaking of the birds.....Joy, birds are lovely pets. They do, however, require lot of work, and a lot of knowledge about their care, etc. I've been working with birds for 33 years and have learned a lot along the way. I absolutely love
    these beautiful, intelligent creatures.

    I hope you all are doing well. I consider you all my good friends and love you.

    Take care!

    Marion

  9. #9
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    should we outlaw wind turbines that kill birds?
    "Here's an unpopular opinion: I'm actually not at all concerned about innocent men losing their jobs over false sexual assault/harassment allegations. Sorry. If some innocent men's reputations have to take a hit in the process of undoing the patriarchy, that is a price I am absolutely willing to pay." Teen Vogue writer Emily Lindin

  10. #10
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    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0055798/



    SEE RANK
    Birdman of Alcatraz (1962)
    147 min - Biography | Drama - 3 July 1962 (USA)
    7.8
    Your rating:
    -/10
    Ratings: 7.8/10 from 9,640 users
    Reviews: 68 user | 23 critic

    A surly convicted murderer held in permanent isolation redeems himself when he becomes a renowned bird expert.

    Directors:
    John Frankenheimer, Charles Crichton
    Writers:
    Guy Trosper (screenplay), Thomas E. Gaddis (book)
    Stars:
    Burt Lancaster, Karl Malden, Thelma Rit
    "Here's an unpopular opinion: I'm actually not at all concerned about innocent men losing their jobs over false sexual assault/harassment allegations. Sorry. If some innocent men's reputations have to take a hit in the process of undoing the patriarchy, that is a price I am absolutely willing to pay." Teen Vogue writer Emily Lindin

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