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Thread: Fear of situations

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    Community Member Prot's Avatar
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    Default Fear of situations

    Regular feeling that i am going to do something stupid or inadvertently wrong and be punished. Often feel guilty as though i must have done something wrong but i don't know what my actual crime is.
    Yet inside there is this perpetual nagging doubt;
    the feeling we are possessed by a 'subtle lack of togetherness''.

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    Community Member Deedeelyn's Avatar
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    Hey Prot, Glad to see you haven't let us. I just want to related to you and your experiences with fears of making mistakes and that overwelming feeling of guilt. I have fought with those issues so many times. I get a lot of help through my therapist and I also have to take medication. Is there anything you have found helpful?

    Dee

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    Community Member Prot's Avatar
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    I do not have a therapist as i am deemed unsuitable for therapy and although i am on medication(depot injection) it doesn't help my anxiety(and social anxiety) and may even exacerbate it.
    So far have found nothing that really helps.
    Yet inside there is this perpetual nagging doubt;
    the feeling we are possessed by a 'subtle lack of togetherness''.

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    Community Member Deedeelyn's Avatar
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    Hmm, Could you explain to me why you are deemed unsuitable for therapy. I feel even talk therapy is helpful. There is also cognitive behavioral therapy. There are other forms of therapy too. I really have never met anyone who could not use a therapist from time to time.

    Dee

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    Community Member Prot's Avatar
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    I think because i had bad experiences with two trained therapists and an untrained person who was assigned to me via my local mh resource centre.
    The two trained therapists i didn't get on with because they were unsympathetic and pushing that i was a bad person who had to want to mend the error of my ways. Neither could see that i was a fundamentally decent person who had difficulty coping with certain situations because of the psychological effects of past experiences.They made it bluntly clear that they disapproved of me .
    The untrained person dumped me after i inadvertently upset her religious sensibilities. A few weeks before that she had dropped the bombshell that she was a member of a small religious sect.
    I also think maybe because my pdoc sees me as having psychotic symptoms.
    Yet inside there is this perpetual nagging doubt;
    the feeling we are possessed by a 'subtle lack of togetherness''.

  6. #6
    Community Member Deedeelyn's Avatar
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    It sounds like you found a bad lot of therapists. I would think psychotic symptoms would be the trigger to receive the therapy. Don't be fearful of trying again. I can understand how not having someone you can rely on or trust would cause anyone to live in fear of the future. Do you have any support system at all?

    Dee

  7. #7
    Community Member Prot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deedeelyn View Post
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    It sounds like you found a bad lot of therapists. I would think psychotic symptoms would be the trigger to receive the therapy. Don't be fearful of trying again. I can understand how not having someone you can rely on or trust would cause anyone to live in fear of the future. Do you have any support system at all?

    Dee
    I am on the books of a local mh charity but they have recently changed their focus/way of doing things which has thrown me and a lot of their other clients.
    I have someone who was coming in to see me as a befriender,even after the service was axed,but i think he has got fedup/bored with me as he has been coming to see me less and less.
    Family wise i have no one close at hand nor do i have any friends i can rely on for support.
    Yet inside there is this perpetual nagging doubt;
    the feeling we are possessed by a 'subtle lack of togetherness''.

  8. #8
    Community Member Deedeelyn's Avatar
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    Please don't assume that your befriender is fed up or bored with you. The reasons he is coming less may have nothing to do with you. Maybe you could respectfully ask him why he is coming less the next time he visits.

    I have family for my support system. It seems I don't do well choosing positive healthy relationships outside my family.

    Please consider me a friend.

    Dee

  9. #9

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    Hi Prot (and Deedeelyn)

    I agree with Deedee. sometimes people do things (or neglect to do things) for reasons which aren't about us at all. He may have some problems of his own, family, economic, professional... you don't know. Try not to assume the less frequent visits are because of some feeling about you.

    you might also explore the thoughts you have in another way: you have heard of projection, yes? do you feel bored often? do you feel boring? are you in some way fed up with yourself, or your life? if so, you could simply be extending your own feelings to another. if you feel these ways, it would seem reasonable to you that another would. but it isn't necessarily so at all.

    i remember you and have wondered about you. i hope you feel better. a friend of mine calls those feelings you talk about at the start of the thread "false guilt" ... where one feels guilty but for no apparent reason. sometimes when we are poorly treated we end up blaming ourselves, especially if there is a history of heavy criticism. i wonder if you can feel the feelings and tell yourself, well, i am feeling this way, but it isn't justified, it is just a feeling? it feels bad, it is uncomfortable, but i don't deserve it, and i do not have to act on it in any way.

    try to take care of yoruself the best you can.

    (((hugs)))

    ~ waves ~
    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  10. #10
    Community Member Prot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by waves View Post
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    Hi Prot (and Deedeelyn)

    I agree with Deedee. sometimes people do things (or neglect to do things) for reasons which aren't about us at all. He may have some problems of his own, family, economic, professional... you don't know. Try not to assume the less frequent visits are because of some feeling about you.
    How long should i hold onto the possibility that it is due to him having problems of his own? I could cling onto that and then just find i was right after all.
    I find the uncertainty hard to cope with.
    Yet inside there is this perpetual nagging doubt;
    the feeling we are possessed by a 'subtle lack of togetherness''.

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