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Thread: chil with adhd???

  1. #1

    Default chil with adhd???

    hello, i have a4 year old who throughout her life has witnessed her dad hit and shout at me.
    i have now left that relationshp after numerous attempts in the past. neway my question is could the things shes seen/heard in her life be a part of avin ADHD?
    shes is very hyperactive,neva sits dwn always bounin around. doesnt listen 2 ne its like shes got no sense of danger eitha.

    since i left her dad her whole behaviour has changed she in not the little girl she used 2 b.

    thanx 4 ur hrlp.

    by the way the reason im askin is because people have told me 2 get her checked
    xx

  2. #2
    Distinguished Community Member tic chick's Avatar
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    hello lauzj ,

    welcome to the forums!

    i'm sure your daughter was effected by your husband's shouting and hitting you. i don't know if that can cause adhd, but i'm sure it can cause other behavioral problems. she could be acting out, she could be angry and not know how to talk about it, so she would do these things to get attention. i would set firm rules for her and if she breaks them give her consistent, thoughtful consequences. i don't think a swat on the behind is a bad thing, but i wouldn't use it on a child who has witnessed that kind of behavior in the family. it just teaches her that it's okay to hit someone and it doesn't teach her how to communicate her feelings with others and with you.

    it's usually best to wait until a child is in school to get them tested for adhd. if their behavior is interfering with their learning, it would show up on tests and teachers would comment on her behavior. adhd is easier to diagnose if a child is having learning difficulties. if she is in pre-school and her teacher is already saying she can't sit still you can remember to tell that to her doctor when she get's tested.

    divorce or separation of parents tremendously effects a child. i think you have to talk to her when she is in a listening mood and try to get her to talk about how she feels and things that bother her. don't judge her feelings or tell her she's wrong to feel that way. she needs to hear you say that it's okay to feel the way she feels, that's called validation.

    i do hope that with you remaining a constant, supportive and firm presence in her life she will get interested in school or sports or band and she'll get some self-esteem and her behavior will become better.

    wishing you the best,
    jeannie
    Here's to good women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.
    "The world is a better place when you're barefoot." Mark
    "Don't go there unless you know the way back." TC
    "...there will be an answer. Let it be." Paul McCartney

  3. #3

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    I agree with Jeannie. If your think there is a problem you should pursue testing with the school. I found with my son that there were behaviors he could control and some that he seemed to have no control of whatsoever. It may be that your daughter may need some one to talk with to help her process what she was seeing but getting out of the relationship was the best example you could have set. I found the hardest thing to deal with with my son was discipline. Not because I didn't want to or gave up but because I didn't want to discipline for something he truly couldn't control. I always felt it was a fine line and I am sure I made mistakes but overall if I felt he could control it there would be a consequence and correction; if he couldn't control it there would just be a correction. My reasoning being that when we did eventually get his ADHD under control then he would understand the rules. This forum was invaluable to me and my son. Between the support and information I got here it really made a difference in helping my son.

    Pat

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