Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 46

Thread: Lonely Holiday

  1. #21
    Distinguished Community Member houghchrst's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    1,286
    Blog Entries
    108

    Default

    Sue every parent has their favorite. Every family has their problem child, the weak one who relies on mommy more than the rest of the kids and mom loves that child furiously, with tooth and nail despite glaring evidence that the relationship is toxic and interferes with family dynamics.

    I am thinking that despite the wrongness of your mother's admission she is not ignorant to the fact of what she is doing and carries tremendous guilt. You and others in the family have known for years that things were off in you and your mother's relationship but it sounds like she just continued to deny it because the alternative was too horrible an admission.

    I wonder if now that she has admitted it if there will be a better chance for the two of you to come to some kind of new start.

    Sounds like a cop out but things were different when they were being raised and some parents are doing the best they can with what they know.

    It is a terribly painful thing that has been done to you. I hope you find some healing.

  2. #22
    Distinguished Community Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    542

    Default

    Hi Christina,

    I've tried to start having a positive, loving relationship with my mom for over 30 yrs. and each time she ends up turning away from me telling me: "Why can't you be like your brother." She says this because they haven't had
    any issues with each other and they get along great but after I got the epilepsy yrs. ago she turned away from me and felt I wasn't good enough for her and the rest of the family. She also turned away from my dad because she was spending
    so much time with my brother and he finally got fed up with her and left her.
    I don't think my mother realizes how much she has turned away from the rest of the family to be with my brother and his family and how it's hurt others.
    What keeps me going is reading the Bible and helping out others that have life a lot more harder than I do. I work with students in Special Education who have emotional, physical, and learning disabilites and when I see what
    some of those students are going through I realize I'm one lucky person.
    Here's wishing you well and May God Bless You!

    Sue

  3. #23
    Distinguished Community Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    327

    Default

    Sue, you sound like a very understanding and caring person to be able to accept your mother for who she is.
    Most of us have simliar things in our families. My mom's golden child was my youngest brother. I learned to accept it.

    I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
    Take care,
    Dawn

  4. #24
    Distinguished Community Member houghchrst's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    1,286
    Blog Entries
    108

    Default

    Sue it's too bad that your mother seems doomed to alienate everyone. I am glad you are finding a way to deal with things and Merry Christmas to you too.

  5. #25
    Distinguished Community Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    542

    Default

    Hi Christina,

    I've learned not to let other people get the best of me in my life. Years ago my parents were very carrying when I was young and as time went by they withdrew from me and got angry with me do to the
    medical expenses from having epilepsy. I was only 10 yrs. old at the time but my Grandmother taught me a lot about love and she was always there for me. Years later my Aunt got MS and we could relate very well
    because of the neurology end of it and she took a lot of the same meds that I did. After my Aunt and my Grandparents passed away it got lonely for me but I want to please them for everything that they taught me
    over the yrs. and how I should never give up. I know that God won't give me more than I can handle and I see how my epilepsy can relate to the type of job I have since I work with kids who have epilepsy along
    with many kids who have emotional problems do to their home life. Here's wishing You a Merry Christmas and May God Bless You!

    Sue
    Love People Not Things
    Use Things Not People

  6. #26
    Distinguished Community Member JanM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    An hour from Abilene TX
    Posts
    337

    Default

    Mayhaps the treatment you got from your mom is the reason you can live your life now. I think my mom loved me, but I know she didn't like me.
    I'm just where God wants me to be, not one step ahead nor one step behind........

  7. #27
    Distinguished Community Member Jo6's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    914

    Default

    Hi everybody. I have been reading this thread and thinking a lot about how my life has gone concerning my parents and siblings. I see many thing in a different vein than I did when I was younger.

    Jan, sometimes I thought the very thing you said was my relationship with my Mom. I felt sure she loved me, but didn't think she liked me very much until I was older. she indeed had her favorite child and she made no bones about telling me this. I begun to feel like it was funny, It was almost like she would tell me things, forgetting I was one of her children. lol I never felt she would say and do things to be hurtful to me. In her later years I know I was one of her favorite's. There were 2 sons and then me. I guess being 3rd out of 7 wasn't so bad after all. lol

    Sue, you do have a good attitude and I do wish your Mom would show her love for you. you are a very special person.

    my love, Jo
    Did you ever know that you're my hero and every thing I would like to be I can fly higher than an eagle
    'cause you are the wind beneath my wings

    for my brother Ben

  8. #28
    Distinguished Community Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    542

    Default

    Hi Folks,

    Thanks for your posts and support. As I look back over the yrs. since I was a kid back in the 1960's and 1970's I can see how the world has changed when it comes to love and family life. Years ago people took the time to visit
    family and friends but today everybody is to busy (at least in my family). I look at how nobody has the time to show kids their love or friendship. I especially notice it at work. Students in grades 6-8 gave me the best Christmas gifts this yr.
    by giving me a big hug and we took time to visit. I could tell that just like myself these kids didn't get the love that they needed from home. My brother didn't bother to call me nor did anyone in my family. I live a little over 10 miles from
    my family but I heard the same words that I've been hearing for 20 yrs. or longer. "I'm busy"! All of us need to get out there and spend more time with our family and friends. Remember the worst heart disease is a heart that doesn't love.

    Here's wishing each and everyone of you a joyful and Blessed New Years. May God Bless You!

    Sue

  9. #29
    Distinguished Community Member jingle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    473

    Default

    "Remember the worst heart disease is a heart that doesn't love"
    Wow Sue, wow

  10. #30
    Distinguished Community Member houghchrst's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    1,286
    Blog Entries
    108

    Default

    i agree jingle. Sue whatever has happened to you it sounds like you actually got a bit of the good end of the stick. Your grandparents obviously adored you because you seem to have become a good human being and your condition has made you someone who can empathize and help those who need it. You don't need negative energy in your life both for you mental and physical health.

    Wondering if those in the family that you do have some kind of relationship with will be able to be pinned down say in a month. Call someone and see if you can pin down a lunch date far enough in the future that they can't say they have this or that. Maybe out to a birthday lunch for someone, something like that.

    I haven't spoken to two of my three brothers in a long time. When my mom died last year the family split. We don't really have any extended family nearby so I am kind of screwed family wise. Things may be mended with time here.

    Your family is missing out.

Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. holiday recipes
    By houghchrst in forum Emotional Support
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 12-20-2011, 03:53 AM
  2. Lonely
    By Virginia in forum Multiple Sclerosis
    Replies: 63
    Last Post: 10-03-2011, 05:38 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


BTC Inc's Disclaimer and Privacy Policy

The material on this site is for information & support purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice provided by a licensed health care provider. Always consult your doctor before trying anything that you find online.