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Thread: Lonely Holiday

  1. #11
    Distinguished Community Member houghchrst's Avatar
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    Sue I am sorry that you have to go through something so painful from someone you love. I like Jo's idea. Every time he says something either ignore him or look at him while he is running his mouth and say nothing. When he stops talking just go on with what you are doing. You are not there for him. You are there to see the rest of the family. When the family sees how strong you are and what a fool he is being he may be asked to leave. I would tell all the family members that you are coming. Give him fair warning and if he doesn't want to be there that is his problem. He can only ruin the holiday for himself. Whether or not it ruins it for anyone else is up to them. 10yrs is a terribly long time not to be at a family gathering. Maybe he has done a bit of maturing and will at least have the decency to keep quiet. By you not going he wins every year while you suffer. Stop giving him the power.

    I am wondering if any of his behavior has to do with his wife since you say it started about then.


  2. #12
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    I sorta think that my sons wife has something to do with our problems myself, (my family here). She has a divorced parent and also a grandmother living in another state so if we are out of the picture that gives her more time to be with her large family. She certainly does not mind sating what she thinks about my daughter. Anyway I feel like it is their loss.

    I agree about going and just not letting him get the best of you. I'd be interested to see how your mother reacts if you did go. Good luck with it alll.

  3. #13
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    Hi Folks,

    I want to thank each and everyone of you for all of your support and understanding and I think each of you are right I shouldn't let my brother get the best of me so I'm going to give it a try and be with the family
    on Christmas Eve if I can get a ride to my aunts house and back home. (I can't drive do to the fact I have epilepsy).

    Christina and Joy,
    You both are correct a lot of this has to do with my brothers wife. She doesn't like the fact that I have epilepsy and she won't accept me. In turn this has made my brother turn from me also. I have no idea
    how my mom will react but I can't say that I'm not trying.

    I want to thank each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart for all of your support and understanding. God Bless All of You!

    Sue

  4. #14
    Distinguished Community Member jingle's Avatar
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    ((( Sue ))) Holding you in my heart and prayers. I understand your pain and know how it hurts.

  5. #15
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    Hi Folks,

    I called my mother to let her know that I would be coming to the family gathering on Christmas Eve at first she seemed happy but as time went on and we spoke she got upset and hung up on me. I called her two more times
    and she still hung up on me. So I guess I'm not welcome and I'm back to sqaure one. I never thought I would see the day when my mom would be upset because I told her I was coming to be with the rest of the family on Christmas Eve.

    Jingle,
    Thanks for your prayer and understanding.

    May God Bless All of You!

    Sue

  6. #16
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    I am so sorry to hear it has turn out bad. I say I might still try to go if you can have a ride safely. It might turn out ok. I am just wondering if your mother isn't worrying way too much. I know when my two children got into it at my and their dads house, it was awful and had the children of bothof them in tears. And of course the spouses had to get into it as well. Perhaps this is what your mother is afraid of? I just hate it so bad for you.

  7. #17
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    Hi Joy,

    From what I see my mom isn't worried about my brother and I getting into an arguement, she's more worried that I will see how she shows more love towards my brother instead of loving us both equally. My parents were married for almost 42 yrs.
    and my mom did so much for my brother and his family that my father got upset and left her. She's let my brother and his wife control here to the point where she's ruined her marriage and now shes ruining her relationship with me as well as other family
    members who are getting fed up with her always jumping for my brother and saying the heck with the rest of the family. She's become to selfish, and self centered, she won't even talk to me unless it's something that pleases her but in the long run she blames
    me for everything. I was blamed for my parents breaking up when I had been married for 12 yrs. at the time and living away from home while my brother lived next door and always ran to my mom for whatever he wanted. Ex. babysitting, taking his daughter
    in and taking care of her when she got pregnant, paying her grandaughters rent and much more. Please don't think I'm looking for sympathy or self pity because I'm not. I just want my family to unit, love and care about me like I do for them.
    Here's wishing you well and May God Bless All of You!

    Sue

  8. #18
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    Hi Folks,

    I wanted to let you know that I finally got the truth from my mom yesterday (Dec. 20th) I spoke with her and she finally admited to me that she cares about my brother more than she cares about me.
    I had a feelilng that she felt that way for over 30 yrs. but it took a long time for her to finally tell me the truth. I now can get on with my life knowing what I felt was true and I'm not going to let my family destroy
    me and my feeling for others. Wishing each and everyone of you well and May God Bless You!

    Sue

  9. #19
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    never in a million years would I have thought something like this would be admitted or been possible. guess getting kids was way to easy for her. I really don't know what to think except to be sad. I might see if your mother hardly ever got to see her son etc, thus might make visits a tad more special but even then. Come on my kids are as different as daylight and dark, aodpted so rightly so but still it is so easy to find loving qualities about people if you really try and especially your kids I say you have the right ideal about getting on with it and it is a good attitide for you to have. I wish you all the luck in getting on. I say don't dwell on it at all. Remember to not forgoet about visiting here with us now. .

  10. #20
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    Hi Joy,

    Thanks for your support and understand! I plan on forgeting about what my mother said and carrying on with life. I can't let her and what she said hurt me anymore. I have many friends and other family that care
    as well as in laws. I will still stay with you and everyone here on this forum like I do with the epilepsy forum. Take care and May God Bless You!

    Sue

    Love People Not Things Use things Not People!

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