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    #76
    ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

    Wonderful news that D's father is improving! May it continue to be so.

    No need to apologize, and thank you for clarifying your point for me.

    Unfortunately, many police officers, who have been trained in how to recognize a disability and show respect and understanding, still assault disabled people in custody.

    The examples you gave about your friend with CP and your friend in a wheelchair are probably fairly recent in history. The cases of police brutality against people with disabilities, which we've discussed here on CN, are only a few years old. My dad's experience was a nearly 50 years ago. Half of a century.

    This is a systemic, long standing problem, which has no simple solution. But, we must start somewhere. We might begin by affirming that we are all equal by the law of our nation. We are all entitled to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

    Prayers for peace around the world and equality for all.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences, funnylegs4. We learn from each other, which is how it is supposed to be. All of us are one.



    Love & Light,



    Rose

    *Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!
    Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

    Comment


      #77
      Originally posted by Earth Mother 2 Angels View Post
      ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

      Wonderful news that D's father is improving! May it continue to be so.

      No need to apologize, and thank you for clarifying your point for me.

      Unfortunately, many police officers, who have been trained in how to recognize a disability and show respect and understanding, still assault disabled people in custody.

      The examples you gave about your friend with CP and your friend in a wheelchair are probably fairly recent in history. The cases of police brutality against people with disabilities, which we've discussed here on CN, are only a few years old. My dad's experience was a nearly 50 years ago. Half of a century.

      This is a systemic, long standing problem, which has no simple solution. But, we must start somewhere. We might begin by affirming that we are all equal by the law of our nation. We are all entitled to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

      Prayers for peace around the world and equality for all.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences, funnylegs4. We learn from each other, which is how it is supposed to be. All of us are one.



      Love & Light,



      Rose

      *Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!
      Hi Rose,

      You’re very welcome! Thanks so much! The incidents I described to you happened 12 years ago. So I hope and pray some things in regards to police and disability improved since then. I have seen improvements in other areas of society where disability is concerned. I know things are far from perfect. I don't expect a simple answer. So it’s so sad to know your dad did that case 50 years ago when a similar story happened 12 years ago. There are definitely some huge issues in policing. I don’t get the impression cops get medical trainings beyond first aide level things like overdose and birthing babies. I could be entirely wrong of course. Yes we are one. My prayers to you always.
      Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
      My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

      Comment


        #78
        ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

        funnylegs4 ~

        I'm not sure that police officers are even trained in overdose or birthing babies. They likely call the fire department or EMTs in those situations. They should be trained in how to handle victims of an accident, like applying a tourniquet or not moving a victim. They should know CPR, of course. The police officers I've known in my life have never delivered a baby.

        Yes, my dad's experience was 50 years ago, but police brutality toward people of color and/or with a disability has been a problem for much longer than that. I feel that the military weapons given to our police forces only exacerbate the problem.

        I often think about the young officer, who was here for Jonathan and Jim, and how emotional he was and forthcoming with his feelings. He learned empathy from our family. He saw love, devotion, courage, and strength regardless of how difficult life became for us.

        I told him, "Never, ever lose that. Never forget us. Take us with you on every call, and remember that everyone has a story. Treat them with the kindness you have shown to our family."

        I worry that he is too sweet, too naive to live in the world of policing today. I pray for him, and I believe that Jim, Jonathan and Michael are watching over him. What are the odds that he would be on duty and available that morning for Jim?

        Anyway ... change is desperately needed and has been for centuries.

        Thank you so much for your prayers. My prayers are with you and your loved ones.



        Love & Light,



        Rose
        Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

        Comment


          #79
          Originally posted by Earth Mother 2 Angels View Post
          ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

          funnylegs4 ~

          I'm not sure that police officers are even trained in overdose or birthing babies. They likely call the fire department or EMTs in those situations. They should be trained in how to handle victims of an accident, like applying a tourniquet or not moving a victim. They should know CPR, of course. The police officers I've known in my life have never delivered a baby.

          Yes, my dad's experience was 50 years ago, but police brutality toward people of color and/or with a disability has been a problem for much longer than that. I feel that the military weapons given to our police forces only exacerbate the problem.

          I often think about the young officer, who was here for Jonathan and Jim, and how emotional he was and forthcoming with his feelings. He learned empathy from our family. He saw love, devotion, courage, and strength regardless of how difficult life became for us.

          I told him, "Never, ever lose that. Never forget us. Take us with you on every call, and remember that everyone has a story. Treat them with the kindness you have shown to our family."

          I worry that he is too sweet, too naive to live in the world of policing today. I pray for him, and I believe that Jim, Jonathan and Michael are watching over him. What are the odds that he would be on duty and available that morning for Jim?

          Anyway ... change is desperately needed and has been for centuries.

          Thank you so much for your prayers. My prayers are with you and your loved ones.



          Love & Light,



          Rose
          Hi Rose,

          I’v seen some things in the media of cops having to deal with drug emergency and birthing because they just happen to be the only person there at the moment and they did a Very decent job of it given the circumstances. I would think most cops have CPR training. The cop who helped with Jon and Jim’s passing sounds like an absolutely delightful person and I certainly send all my prayers for his safety and health!! Yes, it’s amazing he was available when Jim passed!
          Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
          My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

          Comment


            #80
            Happy Father's Day, Jim

            ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

            The approaching weekend will be a challenge for me. Saturday is 2 months since Jim's passing. Sunday is Father's Day.

            For his first Father's Day with us, we gave Jim lots of gifts, among them a small tapestry pillow with the words: "Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Dad."

            You all know why I refer to Jim as "the world's most wonderful Dad." He never hesitated for a second in providing all of the care Jonathan and Michael needed. From building ramps for access in our home to a covered trailer for their equipment so we could take a 2 week vacation in Utah, to sitting at their ICU bedside every night and tending to all of their medical issues.


            JIM, THE NATURAL DAD

            We never used the term "Stepdad," because Jim is their DAD. And every medical professional, who witnessed Jim with his sons knew that he was their Dad, their incredibly loving, caring, strong, constant protector. That is the most endearing quality about Jim to all of the people, who cared for Jon and Michael, and who cared for Jim.

            In the middle of his life, we met, fell in love and became a family of four. Inseparable. Devoted. Loving. Living. Laughing. Dancing. Cuddling. Hugging. Sharing everything.

            How many men, at his age, would have taken on this challenge? Not many. Very few. Becoming the one and only Dad to two men in their early 20s with severe disabilities and medical issues is remarkable any way you look at it.

            CHANGE IN DIRECTION

            Jim was a strong, husky man from his life of scaffolding and construction. Our boys felt secure and safe in his arms, with his gentle comforting touch. He quickly learned everything about their care needs, and he soon became an expert at all of them. Talk about a change in direction!

            Jim was more efficient at suctioning Jon's trache than I was. Once, when Jon's trache came out on Jim's shift, about 4 a.m. (everything happens then, it seems, as I look back on our life together), he woke me up. I was flummoxed, so Jim took over and inserted that trache like a pro.

            When Jon had blood in his urine and needed his indwelling catheter flushed repeatedly, we worked as a team, but Jim was always the one handling the syringe and flushing. I was his nurse, handing him supplies, filling the syringe with saline, etc.

            Jim was a G-Tube King! He gave the boys meds, hung their formula, flushed their tubes, let the air out of their bellies, gently pressing on their tummy with the tube open.

            Absolutely nothing deterred Jim from caring for his sons. Nothing.

            Movies, concerts, sports, anything on TV, and Jim was with his sons, watching, singing, dancing with them, or rooting for our favorite teams. In our early years together, before Michael's and Jonathan's conditions progressed, Jim ensured that we had many outings to live concerts, assorted restaurants for breakfast, lunch or dinner, mini vacations, picnics, a "normal life."

            During the entire restoration process, I told everyone, "my husband installed all of these Pergo floors, these doors, the windows, the patio door, the deck, these shelves ... by himself, no crew to help him." And, he was middle aged. And, he was taking care of Michael and Jonathan with me.

            OUR TEAM

            While Jim was doing all of these marvelous things as a Dad, he was taking care of me.

            Two weeks after our wedding, Michael was in the hospital with pneumonia. After 12 hours at the hospital, I would arrive home, and Jim would literally lift me out of the van and into the house. There, waiting for me, was a bubble bath, with candles, soft music, and a glass of wine. Jim had been at home with Jon, made a meal for us, Jon was fed, in bed sleeping.

            When we started working in shifts, during hospital stays, I was on day shift, and Jim was on night shift, and we were on the phone 24 hrs sorting out what our boys needed. Sometimes Jim would make a crock pot meal in the day, before he went to sleep. Sometimes, I would cook a meal for us before he went to the hospital at 10 p.m. Sometimes he would make breakfast for me, before I started my shift at 9 a.m.

            Teamwork. We perfected it.

            When cancer began taking away Jim's strength and independence, he was most concerned about Jonathan and me. He missed being with Jonathan. He missed helping with Jon's care. And he felt guilty that I was carrying the water for Jon and him.

            After Jonathan passed, in our last year together, Jim helped me many times through our sorrow and grieving for Jon. As Jim's condition declined, he still remembered our boys and acknowledged my sadness and what awaited me after he passed.

            On this Father's Day, Jim is reunited with Jonathan and Michael in Bliss, and they are free of their physical vessels. They will have a glorious Father's Day together, which will actually be like every other day in their realm. Glorious.

            I will be here, blessed with the memories of our family unit and the love we share through eternity.

            HAPPY FATHER'S DAY JIM!

            I love you and miss you terribly, Jim, Jon, and Michael, but I know that you are whole and together, and there is where I find my comfort.

            I remain strong for you, My Beloveds.

            Love & Light,



            Rose

            *Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!
            Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

            Comment


              #81
              Bee in My Bonnet

              ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

              funnylegs4 ~

              You're right in that police officers are put in those situations, and they most likely have received some training in how to handle a birth or overdose, until paramedics arrive. I would guess that overdoses are more common than birthing babies. I wonder how many know how to care for someone having a seizure?

              Today, I watched an interview with the Chief of Police for Houston, who supported protesters marching after George Floyd's murder. He said that people don't want "less policing," they want "better policing."

              My prayer is that our Congress can come together to enact laws to protect citizens against police brutality, which will then be implemented by police departments in every city in the country. There is a bad apple in every bunch, and they need to be tossed out immediately, before they infect other apples.

              One officer had his knee on George's neck, while the other officers did nothing. That's an infection among the officers.

              And now, I would like to leave this topic, because it's upsetting and depressing. I also feel like I'm bordering on a taboo topic, and I don't want to overstep.



              BEE IN MY BONNET

              Today, I managed to gather up some energy to deep clean and do laundry. There are so many things, which have been left far too long. With Jim's illness, then the restoration, which still isn't finished, I've not had the time nor the energy to tend to certain housekeeping tasks.

              This is my Ta Done List:

              Dusted

              Living Room Furniture
              Every louver on 12 sets of shutters
              Window sills, which means contorted positions on the futon, because it's right next to the shutters
              Every nook and cranny, ceilings, floors, behind and under furniture
              Wiped brick fireplace, a precarious situation with our current furniture arrangement
              Living Room doors, inside and outside

              Waxed

              Living room furniture and double doors

              Cleaned Fridge

              Unloaded a lot of expired stuff and veggies gone bad

              Took out the trash

              Swept the front entry and the rafters, the walls and the entry light fixture

              Two loads of laundry.

              And I walked 3/4 mile this morning.

              Tomorrow, I may not be able to get out of bed or move, but every day, I realize that I cannot continue in this filth and clutter and find peace. So, I'm endeavoring to reduce it day by day.

              I feel like I've accomplished something today, and that lifts my spirit a bit. I feel that Jim, Jon and Michael are sad to see me working so hard, but they also know that these things need to be done, and I'm the only one here to do them. They also know that I feel better, when our home is in order and clean.

              Thank you all so much for your love, support, and prayers. I love you and pray for you and your loved ones.

              Love & Light,



              Rose

              *Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!
              Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

              Comment


                #82
                Aah Rose - California isn't so far from North Carolina (only about 3,000 miles). Think you could stop by and get some things done in my house? Now that you're wound up you could just keep on going. Hope you are not overly tired today.
                Virginia

                Comment


                  #83
                  ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

                  Virginia~

                  So glad to see you here and that you are feeling better. May it continue to be so!

                  Okay, let's see. I don't have luggage. I am terrified of flying.

                  While it hasn't many miles on it, I doubt our van would make it there and back. I never drive more than 6 miles around town, so cross country is out of my league now. But, when I was young, I drove all over the country, with Jon, Michael, and previous spouse. Cross country every Christmas, the last time to return permanently. We took turns driving the boys in the car and driving the U Haul It van.

                  Aside from that, and 24 loads of laundry in the garage, sure! I'll be right over!

                  If I could, you know that I would, Virginia. I'd be there with masks, gloves, gowns, sanitizers, and everything to take your vitals. I'd wait on you hand and foot, literally. And we'd laugh. A lot. And cry. Quite a bit. And then laugh again.

                  It's nice to imagine ~

                  Please take good care of yourself. I love you and you and your loved ones are in my prayers.

                  Love & Light,



                  Rose

                  *Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!
                  Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

                  Comment


                    #84
                    My dear Rose,
                    First of all, Happy Father's Day to Jim in heaven. I'm sorry I've been MIA recently. We've been up north at Jim's family cottage which has no internet and then when we got home, Jim became ill. He's not feeling well at all so we're getting bloodwork done on Tuesday and we'll take it from there. Home now and his golf cancelled yesterday and today. I'll keep you posted on how his tests go. We are still locked out of Nick's home - the province made new (crazy) rules for families which are impossible to follow. I'm going to call the nursing director tomorrow and find out what's happening. We had been planning our first visit for today with Nick since the pandemic was declared. Jim's not feeling well enough to go anyhow, so instead we are going to zoom while watching Liverpool play their first match of the season at 2pm today. Natalie will be online and we can watch and chat at the same time. Next Sunday we are planning to visit and have 'father's day' then with the gifts that we had delivered to Nick's place. I ordered two nice belts and 'woodsmen's' style socks. For the country gentleman haha!
                    Very little else is new around here! Quiet and I'm taking of care Jim and Daisy of course. I'm so glad that you're getting out for a walk, Rose, and getting through your crazily long list of household chores one at a time. Well done!!!!
                    Sending much love,
                    Donna xoxo
                    Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
                    Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com

                    Comment


                      #85
                      Thinking of you today. Glad to see Donna came on to give you a little company.
                      Virginia

                      Comment


                        #86
                        ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

                        Donna ~

                        I'm so sorry that Jim is ill. What are his symptoms? I'm very concerned about him. It's unfair to be ill on Father's Day. Please let him know that I'm praying for him and sending him healing energy. Prayers for you too, of course. I'm sure you're worried about him.

                        I see Liverpool vs Everton was a goalless game. There are a lot of things, which I don't understand about soccer, and that's one of them. In American sports, a game never ends with a 0-0 score. Countless times I commented about this "oddity" to Jim, probably spoiling his enjoyment of the game. He was so patient with me, and I did try to understand soccer, but it just bores me.

                        Now, when we watched baseball, football or basketball, we were both on the same page! As were Jonathan and Michael!

                        I hope you all had fun watching it together virtually.

                        It's just awful that you've been kept away from Nick for so long! I hope the nursing director will help you. How is the COVID in your area? Are cases less or increasing?

                        In the U.S., the cases are increasing. Not a surprise, after all of the folks flocked to the beaches, parks, and pools on Memorial Day. Plus the protesters, who are less likely to spread it, because they're outside, and the majority of them were wearing masks. Then there was yesterday's campaign rally in Tulsa, where almost no one was wearing a mask. They were hollering and chanting and spitting all over each other. Those in attendance had to agree not to sue DT or the government, if they get COVID. I just shake my head and weep.

                        I know that everyone is anxious to get back to our pre-COVID life, but that is not going to happen. Evidently, this is a virulent virus, and it can cause health issues for weeks. The U.S. COVID fatality toll is now about 120,000.

                        The more that people push the envelope to get out and back into society, the greater the risk of an increase in COVID cases. It's just logic. It's also science, based upon the medical/science experts, who keep warning us about re-opening too soon. When will it not be too soon? We don't know, but if everyone insists on going out and being exposed, "not too soon" is a long time away.

                        As much as I want to have the mold under the kitchen sink removed, and the kitchen finished, I just don't feel comfortable having these strangers (basically, nice as they are, they're strangers) in my house again as COVID cases increase.

                        I am terrified of getting COVID, because I am alone, and I'm elderly and immune compromised, under enormous stress. I don't want to be "my friend, who died from COVID" to my friends. I also have a tremendous amount of stuff to take care of like getting the house somewhat back in order. I will at least have our tree trimmed. I don't have to have contact with the tree trimmers.

                        I just wish that those people, who are desperate to go out and do what they want in a public setting would think about people, like me, who will perish, if we are infected. We have to be isolated to protect ourselves and those we love, and those, who we don't know, who will suffer and possibly die.

                        This pandemic is depriving all of us of things we want to be able to do. It's keeping you away from your son. That is to protect Nick, you, Jim, and everyone else in the family.

                        Is testing readily available in your province? If so, then perhaps you, Jim and Nick could be tested. If you're all negative, then you should be allowed to visit, wearing masks, gloves, and gowns. I've been through this so many times in ICU, so I know the protocol.

                        I'm just so sorry that you're separated and that the rules are complex and difficult to manage. I pray that you find a way to see Nick.

                        All of my love to you, Jim, Nick, Natalie, Alex, Daisy and your entire family. My prayers are with you always.

                        Virginia ~

                        Thank you for thinking of me today. This has been a difficult weekend, of course.

                        I know that Jim, Jonathan and Michael are celebrating Father's Day in Bliss, perhaps, as SuzE suggested, shooting hoops with Kobe and his daughter. There is an image to give me a smile.

                        Today, I started sorting out the stacks of things displaced from the restoration on the landing and in the office. Everything was filthy from dust and the fans blowing constantly to dehumidify the areas affected by the leak.

                        I found a place for many of these items, all filled with memories. I am comforting myself by reincorporating these very significant "artifacts" of our life.

                        I pray that you are feeling better and stronger, Virginia. I think about and pray for you too everyday, dear one.

                        Please, everyone, stay safe, be well, eat well, drink fluids, take your vitamins, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and stay strong.

                        I love you and pray for you and your loved ones ~

                        Love & Light,



                        Rose

                        *Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!
                        Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

                        Comment


                          #87
                          :) Rose no message are you okay? You being home alone are like me, and you need to be super careful/ Love, Jeanie :)

                          Comment


                            #88
                            Rose, Your Ta Done list made me tired! It's been oppressively hot this past week. This makes everything more of a struggle. We have air conditioners in our bedrooms but not the rest of our house.
                            I hope that you felt your angels around you on Sunday. We had a special dinner for my husband on Saturday. Gave him a Fit Bit (I have one and love it!). Our state is opening slowly and it feels good and is scary all at the same time. It definitly leaves things open to personal comfort level. We passed on a nephews birthday party with kids but had a very close friend over for dinner outside. It's going to be a balancing act for sure. My sister in law is supposed to visit from Florida late July. BUT our Governor may instill a 2 week quarentine for travelers from Florida. I have mixed feelings about her visiting mostly because there will be "get togethers" and I will have to be strong and make difficult (and possibly unpopular) choices. Stay safe strong and positive Rose!
                            Sending safe virtual hugs your way always!
                            Mary Grace

                            Comment


                              #89
                              ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

                              First, I ask you all to join me in prayer for Donna and her husband, Jim. Jim has been unwell for a couple of weeks and is undergoing testing. Please hold them, Nick, Natalie and their beautiful family close to your hearts, and send them positive, healing energy. Thank you all so much.

                              Mary Grace ~

                              These are very difficult and painful decisions to make during this pandemic. Florida's cases are increasing as of today, so your concern about your sister-in-law's visit is quite understandable. I've been in this situation many times through the past few decades. I know you feel like the "bad guy." You aren't. You are protecting Kathleen. And all of your family.

                              Like the flu, or any other virus, a person can feel just fine in the morning and be sick by that night or the next morning. A person can be asymptomatic, with no fever, and still have COVID or the flu, or a simple cold.

                              No one else is living your life. People may think they understand, but truly they cannot. What does your gut tell you? Go with that. As much as we all want to be close, together, have our pre-COVID life back, it isn't feasible now. And, it is dangerous.

                              Go with your gut, Mary Grace. Always.

                              My prayers are with you and your lovely family.

                              Love & Light,



                              Rose

                              *Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!
                              Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

                              Comment


                                #90
                                Rose, I hope all is well.
                                Keeping Donna and family in my prayers.
                                I agree about following your gut it's proved to be a very good gauge. I'm not sure if my sister in law will even come now since there is a travel ban coming into NY (So thankful our governor is so proactive in dealing with this virus) . We've gone through the fire and now the state is seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. It would be sad and tragic to have other state travelers bring it back to a dangerous level.
                                Kathleen handled not going on vacation quite well. She's already talking about going next year. She brought out her picture books and did a lot of reminiscing. She really amazes me sometimes.
                                Sending safe hugs and many prayers your way.
                                Mary Grace

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