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    #46
    The Plumbing Crisis

    ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

    This morning, I called my insurance agent about the leak/mold. I spoke to his assistant first. She explained the process of putting in a claim and having an inspector come out to assess the problem. The inspector will determine whether it's a sudden problem or one resulting from me not properly maintaining our home. The fact that there is mold will tell the claims department that this isn't a sudden problem or a new occurrence.

    Of course, I told her our story about losing Jon and Jim, and why I couldn't address this sooner. She said "I'm sorry for your loss, but ... it's possible that this won't be covered by your policy."

    After 42 1/2 years with this insurance company covering my home, with only 2 claims in that time, and this is what I get? I'm elderly, and my husband just died.

    "I know, and I'm sorry, but you have to maintain your home."

    "Was I supposed to have a plumber visit every 3 months to check to see if I might have a sudden leak somewhere? What does that mean? I have maintained my home, that's why I have a trusted plumbing company, which has done a lot of work in our home, including putting a new toilet upstairs. They didn't see a problem then. We had a leak in the bedroom closet, where my husband was dying. I was taking 24 hour care of him. No help. Just me. I couldn't do anything about it, because, as I said several times, he was dying. Now he's gone, and I'm addressing the problem. NINE DAYS after his passing."

    I told her that I wanted to speak to my agent. She texted him, as they're all working from home under the state orders. He called me an hour later, and I told him my whole story. He was also so sorry for my losses. This was beginning to feel like patronizing, which is one of my biggest pet peeves. I hate to be patronized.

    He gave me the same line about sudden, unexpected, and something that had been brewing for awhile. For crying out loud! My home is 42 1/2 years old with original plumbing! What do they expect? Was I supposed to upgrade the pipes during the last 20 years to avoid this from happening? Well, I was a bit busy, what with Jonathan being in and out of ICU 6 times between 2004-2012, and caring for him in our own ICU at home. In 2014, we had a huge earthquake. Then, Jim had an RA flare in 2015 and a lump on his breast, which was benign. In 2016, Jim started coughing up blood. In 2017, on his birthday, he was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. From thereon, it was caring for Jon and Jim until they both passed. Golly, I'm so sorry that I didn't make time to have all the plumbing replaced during that time!

    My agent advised me to call my trusted plumbers to have them assess the situation and give me an estimate for repair. Okay. But what about the mold? Don't mention the mold to the inspector, the agent said to me. Well, the treatment of the mold will come before the plumbers work, so I'll have to get an estimate on that too.

    He said if the plumbers can fix it for less than my deductible, then I shouldn't file a claim.

    I was simply stunned. My deductible is $500. A faucet costs nearly that much, when a plumber installs it! I should know, and our plumber gives us discounts on everything, because they are a compassionate family, who really care about their customers.

    We have MOLD, for crying out loud! Whether I tell the inspector or I don't, we have mold. I don't want to be jerked around by the insurance company to get work started on this job, while my home becomes engulfed in mold. Get the plumber out, get the mold people out, get estimates, file a claim, have an inspector come out from the insurance company, submit findings, wait for claims department to make a decision, then if they deny it, I have to go back to the mold company and the plumber and pay out of my own pocket.

    I'm living here, while the mold is growing, but that didn't seem to concern my agent. It should be drying out and not that much. I was shaking at this point. I told him I'd call my plumber. And, I am prepared for him to tell me that the cost of repairing all of this will be astronomic.

    I hung up the phone and burst into tears.

    JOHN'S VISIT

    I texted John and told him we didn't have to clean out the closet or Jon's room today and asked him to call me. He did, and I told him everything that I've just told you. He was shocked at how poorly I am being treated. He said, "Breathe. We'll take this one step at a time."

    Then, I told John that the pump isn't working in Michael's pond, and I don't want the water to stagnate. He said he'd come over to check it out, which he did. We have power to the pumps, but the pump appears to be broken. That little pump did a yeoman's job for many years, and Jim always commented on how good our pond pumps were. But tons of debris and no clean out for years has done its number on them.

    John took the pump to find a replacement and was trying to determine how we can use it with a hose to pump the water out of the pond onto the greenbelt behind our fence. Jim connected PVC pipes to the pump, but I don't know how or where they are now. I watched him do it many times. We irrigated the greenbelt with pond water, so there was no waste.

    John is determined to figure this out. "We'll drain it and let it dry out completely, then we'll get all of the gunk out of it, hose it down, pump that out, and put in fresh water and a new pump."

    We chatted for awhile about his parents, Jim, Jon, Michael and this being his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife said that they were ordering in, because she wasn't in the mood to cook on their anniversary. They are still in the middle of having the interior of their home painted.

    He said he never realized what a big job it is to paint the interior of a home. "I do," I said. "I painted every square inch of this home in the 80s. By myself. I repainted the kitchen and the downstairs bathroom in the 90s, while Jim was laying floors and installing windows and doors."

    John just looked at me, smiling, shaking his head. "That does not surprise me, Rose."

    John left with a heavy bag full of applesauce and juice boxes for his 4 year old niece. John's sister will be stopping by this evening to finalize paperwork related to their mom. She's Grandma, so she will deliver the goodies to this sweet little pumpkin I have yet to meet. I see her pictures, and I'm kept up to date on her. I told John's sister that I hope to meet her before she goes to college.

    WHERE I AM

    Just when I think I might have some control over something, that is lost. Just when I think I may not have more tears to shed, I weep. Just when I think that everything will be all right and go smoothly, it doesn't.

    I honestly do not know how strong I am now. How much more I can endure. It's just a succession of crises, or problems to be sorted out, during a pandemic. I try to rest, to eat, to find moments of peace and calm, to believe that all will work out, to connect with Jim, Jonathan and Michael, but reality is wearing me down.

    But, I must persevere and find my way through this muck and mire and have all of my ducks in a row.

    Thank you all so much for your love, prayers, and support. I love you and pray for you and your loved ones every day. Blessings upon you all. Be safe. Stay home. Be well.

    Love & Light,



    Rose
    Last edited by Earth Mother 2 Angels; 04-29-2020, 06:01 PM.
    Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

    Comment


      #47
      You got this Rose. Like John says, 'breathe'. You got this just like you have everything else. Cry, cry hard and long if you must but you got this.

      Comment


        #48
        Oh Rose, I am so sorry you are being put through so much stress. Life really stinks some days. Insurance companies are the worse. You pay for years and they still try to shaft you when you have to make a claim. So much for the oversight on these industries. Sure wish once again that we lived closer together. We would love to help you through all this. Continued prayers for your strength, comfort and sanity during all this additional stress.
        grandmother of Tyler (27): Ohtahara Syndrome/SCN2a gene mutation, cortically visually impaired, quadriplegic, severely developmentally delayed, no speech, severe intractable seizures, frontal and temporal lobe atrophy, progressive scoliosis/kyphosis, chronic kidney stones & UTI's, gastroparesis, 100% tube fed, autonomic dysreflexia, but what a precious gift from God. "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."

        Comment


          #49
          Ten Days

          ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

          Chris ~

          Thank you so much for that vote of confidence! I am trying to breathe. I'm just concerned that I'm breathing in mold!

          I called my plumber this morning, and the owner (Dad) answered the phone. I was surprised. I told him my story, and he was genuinely sorry to hear of Jim's passing. He also said that I should have just told my insurance agent that I just discovered this leak, because homeowner's insurance usually only covers a sudden plumbing problem.

          Jim used to tell me that I was "honest to a fault." Well, if being honest is a fault, then, I'm guilty of that fault. I'm supposed to lie to my insurance company? And then, when they figure out that I'm lying, what happens? I lose my insurance? I am just not built that way.

          I wasn't being negligent or not maintaining my home. I wanted to address it right away, and Jim even told me that I should. But, he was dying. There was no way that he could have handled all of that commotion and disruption, and there was no place to put him in the house out of Jon's room. Even if there was, he was dying and needed peace and quiet.

          What inspector would believe that I didn't notice this until just a day or two ago? There's MOLD here, and that doesn't happen overnight. And, if I didn't notice it, then I'm not doing a very good job of maintaining my home, am I?

          This is infuriating! Punished for telling the truth!!! Ack!!!

          Unfortunately, the plumber was booked for today and scheduled a 12-2 appointment for tomorrow. He said he'd call me if they had an opening today. I waited all day, no call.

          He said that he hoped that I was taking care of myself, and I said that I was trying to do the best I could, but this situation isn't helping my stress level. He assured me that he'd be here for me and help me any way that he could. He remembers Jon, Jon's room, and of course, he was fond of Jim, as was everyone. When I said that I was just gathering up what little strength I had remaining to address this problem, he said, "You'll be okay. You're a tough cookie."

          It's been 10 days since Jim's passing, and I'm doing what I have to do, only because it has to be done now. If it weren't for this plumbing crisis, I would be spending my days in reflection, grieving, absorbing the pain of my losses, and rebuilding my strength to move forward. If it weren't for COVID-19, I would be planning a celebration of life service for Jonathan and Jim. But even if we didn't have COVID-19, I would still have this blasted plumbing problem, so I wouldn't be able to do that either.

          I hope that I've got this. Time will tell.

          Tamie ~

          So wonderful to see you here again. How are you, Tyler, and Jerry? I pray for you all with hope that you are well. I've always wished that we lived closer too, so that I could help you. Thank you for your prayers, especially for my sanity, which sometimes feels like it's on the edge of a cliff.

          You are so right about insurance, and this royally perturbs me, given my loyalty to this company for over 42 years. No compassion. Just tell me to lie to the inspector. Really? My agent said that he'd support me with the claims department by explaining our extraordinary circumstances. Yeah, that'll be helpful. All they see is the bottom line, and my problems mean nothing to them. I can't spend days or weeks hassling with them. That will absolutely affect my sanity status.

          My plumber will be straight forward and tell me an estimate of how much all of this will cost. Then, I'll call my agent. Won't he be surprised when I tell him that's it's a lot more than $500! He said to me, "Maybe it's just a small pin leak." While I'm not a plumber, I'm not ignorant. This isn't a pin leak.

          JOHN'S VISIT

          What would I do without John? Thank God, I don't have to know the answer.

          He came over after dinner with his wife and daughter to test out the new pump for Michael's pond. It worked, and he hooked it up to a hose and pumped the dirty water out of the pond onto the greenbelt behind us.

          He's going to get another pump to hook up the waterfall, and this pump will be used as the fountain. On Sunday, he will bring his wet/dry vac and suck up the remaining water, then all of the debris inside the pond and on the falls. We're going to try to get rid of the algae around the pond, which might be easier once it's all dried out.

          Once it's all clean, he will install the pumps and fill it with fresh water. I can't think of anything right now that will comfort me more than to have Michael's pond/waterfall clean and functioning properly. I did my best over the past several years to scoop out heavy algae and debris, refill it to overflowing to get some of the guck out, clean the pumps, etc. But we've had wind, rain, and many leaves and debris dropping into for a long time. I couldn't do the maintenance that Jim did. Now, I'm sure that Jim, Jon and Michael are smiling upon John for making this a priority.

          With all of the rain we've had, our backyard dirt is now a forest of weeds. So, I will ask our gardeners to tend to it next week. At least it's green. And weeds are actually pretty in their own way. Weeds are plants, and they don't get enough respect!

          On our front patio, our roses are blooming, red Europena, and lavender Blue Girl, with agapanthis, which only blooms in late Spring. Thank you rain.

          As John was preparing to leave, he asked if there was anything else I needed. He'd already taken out the trash bins to the street for me. I said, "No," and then I noticed 9 cases of bottled water at our front door!

          I have been listening and looking for the water delivery guy all day. I opened and closed the garage door, which is where the cases are left, if I don't catch the delivery guy, so many times today, and no water. No, of course not! He put them at the front door. Now, who has enough room in their home to store 9 cases of water?

          John carried them all into the garage, and he took two cases for his family. John said to me, "You know, you should probably cut down on the amount of water you get now."

          "I was going to do that today, but I didn't hear or see the delivery guy! I sat in the living room watching for his truck. How did I miss this?"

          With Jim gone, the water need is reduced significantly. We always had a surplus, because that's what I do. I prepare for a disaster. We had a major earthquake. We live where fires are a risk. And, there is a pandemic. I could probably supply most of my neighbors with water in a disaster right now. So, yes, I will cut back on my next order. Or maybe cancel it altogether.

          And that is not a big deal. It's just another thing that I need to do. My head is spinning sometimes, just thinking about all that I need to do.

          John continues to tell me to "take on step at a time, one thing at a time." Well, I've lived my entire life taking hundreds of things at a time, and this is no exception. If I could parcel out all of the things that need my attention that easily, it would be surreal. Life, at least in my experience, doesn't happen "one thing at a time."

          He is worried about me, and he is doting. I wanted to say to him today, "You must be getting tired of dealing with me all of the time, with everything you have going on in your life." But I didn't, because he showed up with that pump smiling and cheerful. He loved figuring out how to make it work, and he was happy to see the success of his effort.

          John wants to do whatever he can to make this easier for me. He intuitively knows that I will feel better with Michael's pond/waterfall refurbished and the yard cleaned up. This is the view from every room in our home, the backyard. Michael's, Jonathan's and Jim's gardens are sacred places. So, I believe that John is doing this to help me have that serenity with their gardens.

          And, yes, it does help me so much. Because the yard is chaos, and the pumps going out at the same time is more chaos. Then I feel helpless and overwhelmed, and John steps in to take over.

          John is an "essential front line worker," because he ensures that stores in his region are stocked with a wide variety of products. He begins every workday at dawn. When his workday is finished, he continues giving to his family and his friends. Whatever they need, John is there.

          John is a hero.

          Thank you all for reading my lengthy post, and for your love, prayers, constant friendship, understanding, compassion and ... everything. I love you and pray for you and your loved ones. Be safe. Be well. Stay home. We're all in this together. We are all heroes.

          Love & Light,



          Rose
          Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

          Comment


            #50
            Plumbing Update

            ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

            This afternoon, the owner of our wonderful plumbing company, “Dad,” came to my rescue. He told me that he’s 65, and his sons think he should retire. “But I’d have nothing to do then! So, they give me the easy jobs to humor me."

            First, he checked the closet in Jon’s room. I noticed that the mold had spread on the baseboard. Then, we went upstairs to the bathroom. He began inspecting, and he said that he might have to take the board off of the ceiling in the bedroom to see what’s going on there, in case it is the toilet. I asked if that would disturb the mold and cause spreading, and he said it could. Also, I’m thinking that he’s 65, and although wearing a mask, he doesn’t need to be exposed to the mold.

            He sat on the side of the tub, as I explained to him that the spout and the shower head started leaking over a month ago (maybe longer, I just can’t remember). The dripping got on my nerves. When I told Jim about it, he told me to unscrew the spout, which I couldn’t do, because my hands aren't strong enough to turn it. And then what? Well, there came the real rub.

            Upon further investigation, Dad traced a wet path from the top of the tub, down the side to the floor. "It’s wet, here, here, here. I’m 99% sure that I’ve found your leak. I’ll fix it.”

            Stunned, I stammered, “Really? That’s the problem? Really?”

            “I’m 99% sure it is.”

            “I’m so relieved! I envisioned my entire home being ripped apart with new plumbing and weeks of repairs.”

            He was here for nearly 2 hours, at one point calling his son to bring him something. So, it wasn’t just a matter of screwing on a new spout, as it appears he replaced the pipes for both the faucet and the spout.

            Once done, we went to the garage for him to look at a mold spot on the wall directly underneath the bathroom. “Yep, that’s most likely from the leak. It’s an accumulation.”

            He instructed me to call the mold restoration company, to which his son had referred me last year for the mold under the kitchen sink.

            “Tell him your situation, about your husband and son, and why you couldn’t take care of this until now. Ask him to come out to evaluate the damage and give you an estimate. He can contact your insurance in an attempt to get them to pay. He knows how to do that. If they deny your claim, he will charge you less than he would charge the insurance company. We’ve worked with them on quite a few projects over the last several years, and they are trustworthy and efficient. I’m sure that he will treat you right, or I wouldn’t recommend him.”

            He asked me what year my house was built. It was funny, because he followed the question with another: “Do you know?”

            I laughed, “I do know, because I’m the original owner. I bought dirt and watched my home being constructed.”

            He said he hoped I didn’t have asbestos in the drywall, because that would mean a hazardous materials company would have to do the work. If my house had been built one year later, there wouldn’t be a concern about asbestos in the dry wall. That’s when it was banned.

            I told him about our slab leak, and that they scraped the ceiling and tested the “cottage cheese” as I call it. They found a minute trace of asbestos, and we had men in space suits and a staging area in the front yard.

            And yet, every home in our neighborhood, which has been remodeled/sold, has scraped ceilings. No haz mat people scraping those ceilings ever. These houses have had additions, and the entire interior altered, with walls removed. No haz mat ever.

            What about us? Living here with asbestos in our ceilings and walls? Why wasn’t there something done to mitigate that after the law was passed in 1978?

            On Monday, I will call the mold restoration company to schedule their visit. I would like for John to be here for that meeting.

            Dad was hesitant to charge me, but I insisted. He gave me a hefty discount. They always give us a discount on every job they’ve done for us. This is a good, kind, caring, loving family.

            I’ll never forget his son sitting down in our living room, when Jim was still on the futon, to unclog the garbage disposer the day after Christmas 2019. He knew there was mold and didn’t want to go under the sink, but he wore a mask and did it for us. Then, he didn’t want to charge us, but we insisted.

            When he finished, Jim asked him lots of questions about his family, because that’s Jim. He loves people, all people, and everyone is interesting and has a story. So, he opened up to us about his family, and it was beautiful. This is our plumber, and he’s sharing his personal life with us, like a friend. Because he is our friend, they are our friends now.

            With our masks on today, Dad and I made a lot of eye contact as we talked. He has such kind, sweet eyes. Crystal blue. A sense of humor and compassion. He raised his boys to be just like him, and they are.

            In the garage, I gestured toward the massive stacks of boxes, “These are all medical supplies. Many of which I purchased, because Medicare wouldn’t pay for them.”

            "Out in front by the garage door, we have bags of clothes we removed from the closet. I don’t know if it’s safe to donate them because of the mold in the closet.”

            “This pile is all of the alternating mattresses and covers we collected through the years for Jonathan."

            “Moving on through the cascade of laundry to your right,” I gestured at the enormous stacks and stacks of laundry. “As you can see, I haven’t had time to do much of anything other than care for Jim and the essentials.”

            I looked at him, and his eyes were glazing.

            As I thanked him at his truck, he gave me the receipt and told me to show it to the mold restoration guy. Then, he told me to take good care of myself. He said I should check periodically to see if the moisture around the tub is dissipating. “If it’s still wet, just call. I can stop by on my way home to check it for you. Don’t ever hesitate to call us for anything. You’ve had a very difficult life, and we understand and want to help you.”

            I brought in the trash bins from the street, which I’m sure pleased our neighbors, as I sometimes don’t do that until Saturday night. Oh, the horror!

            When I came in and sat down, I cried. All of this could have been prevented, if I had just called our plumbers to fix the leaking faucet and spout in the tub. I’ve been telling myself since then not to go there. I have to remember everything that was happening with Jim and why that wasn’t feasible at that time.

            I am prone to Guilt Trips, so I have to continue to keep things in perspective. I made that decision at that time for Jim, and now, I will deal with the outcome of that decision.

            As Dad was preparing to leave, I opened our mailbox. There, in an manila envelope, are Jim’s death certificates. I began crying then, but reined it in until I got back into the house. Also in the mail, a Medicare Summary of Jim’s claims and Jim’s Consumer Reports issue.

            This will continue for some time, and I know that, because I still receive mail addressed to Jonathan. It’s like a constant reminder that your loved one is no longer physically living here or in need of mail of any kind.

            I need to take tomorrow “off” and try to regroup. Sunday, John will be here to work on Michael’s pond clean up. Monday, I will call mold removal, and it will all start again.

            I give thanks for Jim, Jonathan and Michael watching over me, answers to prayers, our plumbers, an easy repair, and for this beautiful day and weather.

            To all of you, I give thanks for your love, prayers, kindness and support. And I pray for you and your loved ones. Be strong. Stay safe. Be well. I love you.

            Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

            Love & Light,



            Rose
            Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

            Comment


              #51
              Dear Rose,
              Oh my goodness, I am so glad that you have these dear friends who can help you. What a wonderful family! "Dad" is a kind person and he has passed on his values to all his children.
              Rose, you have done everything for your family, you have done your best and your best has been. AMAZING. You have gone above and beyond every single day and now is the time for others (like your plumbers and John) to step in and help you. I think everything will be OK in the end and today was a giant step in that direction. Thinking of you every day and I"m so glad that people are being kind and helpful! xoxo Donna
              Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
              Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com

              Comment


                #52
                Rose, what a relief to get to the leak so quickly. I am not minimizing the mold, but you are on your way to getting things taken care of with the help of your very kind plumbers and of course John who is taking care of the pumps in the gardens. Like Chris said "You got this" my friend. Glad you are taking a day or so rest. Thanks for the song by Stevie Wonder.
                Virginia

                Comment


                  #53
                  Dear Rose,
                  Here is something to cheer you up from old friends! Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register.... Lots of love and hoping that today was a good, restful day. xoxo Donna
                  Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
                  Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com

                  Comment


                    #54
                    Originally posted by Earth Mother 2 Angels View Post
                    ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

                    This afternoon, the owner of our wonderful plumbing company, “Dad,” came to my rescue. He told me that he’s 65, and his sons think he should retire. “But I’d have nothing to do then! So, they give me the easy jobs to humor me."

                    First, he checked the closet in Jon’s room. I noticed that the mold had spread on the baseboard. Then, we went upstairs to the bathroom. He began inspecting, and he said that he might have to take the board off of the ceiling in the bedroom to see what’s going on there, in case it is the toilet. I asked if that would disturb the mold and cause spreading, and he said it could. Also, I’m thinking that he’s 65, and although wearing a mask, he doesn’t need to be exposed to the mold.

                    He sat on the side of the tub, as I explained to him that the spout and the shower head started leaking over a month ago (maybe longer, I just can’t remember). The dripping got on my nerves. When I told Jim about it, he told me to unscrew the spout, which I couldn’t do, because my hands aren't strong enough to turn it. And then what? Well, there came the real rub.

                    Upon further investigation, Dad traced a wet path from the top of the tub, down the side to the floor. "It’s wet, here, here, here. I’m 99% sure that I’ve found your leak. I’ll fix it.”

                    Stunned, I stammered, “Really? That’s the problem? Really?”

                    “I’m 99% sure it is.”

                    “I’m so relieved! I envisioned my entire home being ripped apart with new plumbing and weeks of repairs.”

                    He was here for nearly 2 hours, at one point calling his son to bring him something. So, it wasn’t just a matter of screwing on a new spout, as it appears he replaced the pipes for both the faucet and the spout.

                    Once done, we went to the garage for him to look at a mold spot on the wall directly underneath the bathroom. “Yep, that’s most likely from the leak. It’s an accumulation.”

                    He instructed me to call the mold restoration company, to which his son had referred me last year for the mold under the kitchen sink.

                    “Tell him your situation, about your husband and son, and why you couldn’t take care of this until now. Ask him to come out to evaluate the damage and give you an estimate. He can contact your insurance in an attempt to get them to pay. He knows how to do that. If they deny your claim, he will charge you less than he would charge the insurance company. We’ve worked with them on quite a few projects over the last several years, and they are trustworthy and efficient. I’m sure that he will treat you right, or I wouldn’t recommend him.”

                    He asked me what year my house was built. It was funny, because he followed the question with another: “Do you know?”

                    I laughed, “I do know, because I’m the original owner. I bought dirt and watched my home being constructed.”

                    He said he hoped I didn’t have asbestos in the drywall, because that would mean a hazardous materials company would have to do the work. If my house had been built one year later, there wouldn’t be a concern about asbestos in the dry wall. That’s when it was banned.

                    I told him about our slab leak, and that they scraped the ceiling and tested the “cottage cheese” as I call it. They found a minute trace of asbestos, and we had men in space suits and a staging area in the front yard.

                    And yet, every home in our neighborhood, which has been remodeled/sold, has scraped ceilings. No haz mat people scraping those ceilings ever. These houses have had additions, and the entire interior altered, with walls removed. No haz mat ever.

                    What about us? Living here with asbestos in our ceilings and walls? Why wasn’t there something done to mitigate that after the law was passed in 1978?

                    On Monday, I will call the mold restoration company to schedule their visit. I would like for John to be here for that meeting.

                    Dad was hesitant to charge me, but I insisted. He gave me a hefty discount. They always give us a discount on every job they’ve done for us. This is a good, kind, caring, loving family.

                    I’ll never forget his son sitting down in our living room, when Jim was still on the futon, to unclog the garbage disposer the day after Christmas 2019. He knew there was mold and didn’t want to go under the sink, but he wore a mask and did it for us. Then, he didn’t want to charge us, but we insisted.

                    When he finished, Jim asked him lots of questions about his family, because that’s Jim. He loves people, all people, and everyone is interesting and has a story. So, he opened up to us about his family, and it was beautiful. This is our plumber, and he’s sharing his personal life with us, like a friend. Because he is our friend, they are our friends now.

                    With our masks on today, Dad and I made a lot of eye contact as we talked. He has such kind, sweet eyes. Crystal blue. A sense of humor and compassion. He raised his boys to be just like him, and they are.

                    In the garage, I gestured toward the massive stacks of boxes, “These are all medical supplies. Many of which I purchased, because Medicare wouldn’t pay for them.”

                    "Out in front by the garage door, we have bags of clothes we removed from the closet. I don’t know if it’s safe to donate them because of the mold in the closet.”

                    “This pile is all of the alternating mattresses and covers we collected through the years for Jonathan."

                    “Moving on through the cascade of laundry to your right,” I gestured at the enormous stacks and stacks of laundry. “As you can see, I haven’t had time to do much of anything other than care for Jim and the essentials.”

                    I looked at him, and his eyes were glazing.

                    As I thanked him at his truck, he gave me the receipt and told me to show it to the mold restoration guy. Then, he told me to take good care of myself. He said I should check periodically to see if the moisture around the tub is dissipating. “If it’s still wet, just call. I can stop by on my way home to check it for you. Don’t ever hesitate to call us for anything. You’ve had a very difficult life, and we understand and want to help you.”

                    I brought in the trash bins from the street, which I’m sure pleased our neighbors, as I sometimes don’t do that until Saturday night. Oh, the horror!

                    When I came in and sat down, I cried. All of this could have been prevented, if I had just called our plumbers to fix the leaking faucet and spout in the tub. I’ve been telling myself since then not to go there. I have to remember everything that was happening with Jim and why that wasn’t feasible at that time.

                    I am prone to Guilt Trips, so I have to continue to keep things in perspective. I made that decision at that time for Jim, and now, I will deal with the outcome of that decision.

                    As Dad was preparing to leave, I opened our mailbox. There, in an manila envelope, are Jim’s death certificates. I began crying then, but reined it in until I got back into the house. Also in the mail, a Medicare Summary of Jim’s claims and Jim’s Consumer Reports issue.

                    This will continue for some time, and I know that, because I still receive mail addressed to Jonathan. It’s like a constant reminder that your loved one is no longer physically living here or in need of mail of any kind.

                    I need to take tomorrow “off” and try to regroup. Sunday, John will be here to work on Michael’s pond clean up. Monday, I will call mold removal, and it will all start again.

                    I give thanks for Jim, Jonathan and Michael watching over me, answers to prayers, our plumbers, an easy repair, and for this beautiful day and weather.

                    To all of you, I give thanks for your love, prayers, kindness and support. And I pray for you and your loved ones. Be strong. Stay safe. Be well. I love you.

                    Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

                    Love & Light,



                    Rose
                    Hi Rose,

                    I’m so sorry about the insurance. Thanks so much for the update on your plumbing crisis. The older "Dad" plumber sounds like an absolute sweetheart. I’m glad he hasn’t retired yet! 65 doesn’t seem old to me but he is higher risk for the virus at his age so I hope he’s super careful. Re: asbestos and not making adjustments when laws are passed. A lot of old houses have asbestos and a lot of older buildings are not even re modeled to be ADA compliant so I’m not surprised the private houses are not updated either. My prayers are with you always.

                    I’m doing well. I had a nice talk with my mailman from a proper 6 feet away with masks. It was so refreshing to make in person contact with a living being.
                    Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
                    My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

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                      #55
                      Jerry and I are staying well. My granddaughter moved in with us on March 12 when college dorms shut down and my daughter and her son moved in a few days later. Easier to maintain one household than two. Tyler got a pseudomonas aeruginosa in his urine during the same time and we had to go to the hospital and have a midline put in and do infusions every 8 hours for 10 days to try and kill it and stay out if the hospital. All this just one day before all of San Diego shut down. Last week we took another sample in and found out Friday that the pseudomonas is back. We are waiting to hear from Infectious Disease to see what can be done. There is no way they are going to take Tyler into the hospital without us to have another midline put in. It took both of us last time to hold him down for the procedure and then dealt with the seizures the trauma brought on. Bad timing all around. That’s my update in a nutshell. With all that you have endured over the past year, this is nothing and it will pass.
                      grandmother of Tyler (27): Ohtahara Syndrome/SCN2a gene mutation, cortically visually impaired, quadriplegic, severely developmentally delayed, no speech, severe intractable seizures, frontal and temporal lobe atrophy, progressive scoliosis/kyphosis, chronic kidney stones & UTI's, gastroparesis, 100% tube fed, autonomic dysreflexia, but what a precious gift from God. "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."

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                        #56
                        Dear Rose,
                        I'm thinking of you and wondering how you are doing today. I'm so glad that your plumber (the Dad) is helping you and of course every day I am grateful for your dear John. So glad that the fountain pump is working! But how are YOU? Are you able to absorb any part of your loss yet? I wish so much that I could give you a hug.

                        Jim and I watched a wonderful documentary yesterday called The Biggest Little Farm Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register.... It takes place in California and I think you would love it. It's a heartwarming story with adorable characters and a happy ending - it is truly about the circle of life. We watched it on Netflix but I think it's available from other movie sources as well.
                        Sending much love,
                        Donna xo
                        Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
                        Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com

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                          #57
                          Plumbing News: The Latest

                          ((((((Hugs to All))))))* ~

                          Please forgive me if I've kept you wondering. I wrote a blathering post 2 days ago, and I decided not to post it. Then, yesterday, I wrote a long response to each on of you, and somehow it disappeared, and I can't retrieve it.

                          Thank you so much Donna, Virginia, funnylegs4, and Tamie ~

                          Tamie ~ I'm so sorry that Tyler is battling another infection, and I know how worried you are for him and the fear of not being with him for his midline. My heart goes out to you, dear friend. This is an awful time to need hospitalization or medical procedures. I pray that Tyler won't need another mildline placement, but if he does, I recommend that he keeps it for awhile, so it doesn't have to be replaced again, if he needs it. Many healing prayers on the way ~

                          Here is my update ~

                          WATER RESTORATION/MOLD REMOVAL



                          I called this morning, and a lovely young lady said she would send a tech out this afternoon between 2:30-3:30. Perfect, because John was coming over to finish cleaning out Michael’s pond at that time.

                          Julio appeared, wearing a very sophisticated mask (per his occupation, obviously). His demeanor instantly told me that he was a good guy.

                          John was in the back yard with his wet/dry vac, blower, bucket, just slaving away on the pond. He’s taking pleasure in doing this for me, because he knows how much it means to me to have it working, and how long it’s been since it’s been drained and cleaned.

                          John bought two new pumps, so that we can have the waterfall again and the fountain in the pond. I look forward to this, and it will bring me peace and comfort.

                          So, while John worked outside, Julio started to explore the mold/water issue starting upstairs. He followed the water spread to the master bedroom and stair landing thresholds. He said his biggest concern was the subfloor. “I hope we don’t have to, but it’s possible the bedroom and landing floors will have to be removed.”

                          Downstairs in Jon’s closet, he checked all of the readings for mold and water. “The drywall will have to be removed, and the floor. I don’t think it has migrated beyond into the bedroom.” He checked the downstairs bathroom, which has the closet as an adjoining wall. No water or mold present there. Whew! Dodged one.

                          Out to the garage, and I gave him the quick tour, “here’s the medical supplies, as you can see, I haven’t had a chance to do laundry for a decade, and here’s the mold on the wall, which is the closet wall on the other side.”

                          Then, I showed him the cabinet under the kitchen sink. He took photos, but I told him that was a separate project from the other leak.

                          Julio’s Analysis

                          Julio read my insurance policy, every single page. John returned from the yard to participate and support me.

                          “Of all of the insurance companies we deal with, you have the best one. Like all policies, they are ambiguous and vague. Subject to interpretation. And, we have a very smart lady in our company, Julia, who knows all of this stuff, and we’ll brainstorm, call you for a conference call with your insurance company, and Julia will walk you through it.”

                          He continued, “They will cover mold up to a certain amount. But, your problem isn’t the mold as much as it is the water. And for water restoration, we have a very good possibility that you will be fully covered. Add the mold, and you should be good to go. And, we know how to fight for you to get that coverage.”

                          He said that he had just had a video conference with an insurance company, "because with COVID-19, they are reluctant to send out inspectors. They may or may not. But today, they accepted our documentation via video. It might be the same for you. We’ll find out.”

                          How It Works

                          “We’ll pre-stage your home for us to begin work, putting up sheets for protection, testing for lead and asbestos.” I told him our home was built in 1977, and he said it will have to be tested for both, before any work can begin.

                          John asked, “Will Rose have to evacuate during all of this?”

                          Julio replied, “No, not at all. We’ll have everything sealed off. We do this all of the time. It will be okay.”

                          I asked about the upstairs bathroom and whether the tub will have to be removed, and Julio said, “Yes, especially because it's against an ‘outfacing’ wall (the outside of the house, not an interior wall). I’m sorry, I know this is a lot to take in, especially right now.”

                          I smiled. “You saw the tub. You saw the bathroom. That’s the original everything. I have wanted a new bathroom for 25 years. And now, I want a walk in shower, with grab bars, and accessible everything. I’m prepared to pay extra for those upgrades, since it’s being demolished anyway. I want what I want, and that would be just lovely for me.”

                          Julio said, “Good! Then we’ll see that that is what you get!”

                          Then we talked about our plumbers, and Julio said, “I always enjoy working on projects with them. There are no plumbers like them anywhere, in my opinion. So cheerful, thorough, and competent. With the third generation lining up to take over. They are the best.”

                          “I want them to do the plumbing, please!” I begged.

                          “We’ll recommend them, of course. They are ‘your plumber,’ after all.”

                          JOHN’S ASSESSMENT

                          After Julio left, John went over everything Julio said to make sure that I had a grasp on it all. That is so sweet, since John knows that I’m in a flutter over all of this. So much to absorb after a trauma and crisis. But, as you can see, I did grasp all of it.

                          John felt that Julio was excellent in every regard, and he felt that it was a good likelihood that they would get the insurance to pay as much as possible.

                          John asked if I felt a little more at ease now, and I said I do. It’s going to be a lot of disruption and chaos, but it must be done, and when it is done, there will be a lovely new bathroom upstairs, and fresh flooring, and repaired plumbing. Keep my eye on the prize … the light at the end of the tunnel.

                          I also asked Julio if it was safe for us to donate anything, which was in Jon’s closet. He said, “Only if you wash them first.”

                          I laughed again. “Julio, you saw the stacks of laundry. You didn’t see the 5 leaf and garden bags at the front of the garage filled with clothes. If I lived to be 112, I could never finish all of that laundry.”

                          John interjected, “Rose, I know you don’t want to do this, because those clothes are still useable and very nice clothes. But, realistically …”

                          “They have to be thrown out. I know.”

                          WHERE THE HEARTBREAK HAPPENS

                          Throwing out Jonathan’s and Jim’s clothes is just one more painful task demanding my immediate attention. This leak/mold thing has exacerbated the need for me to clean out everything.

                          As we were working on Jon’s closet, John once said to me, “I know this is hard for you. But we have to get through this massive amount of stuff, so …”

                          “There isn’t time for me to remember, I know.”

                          When I moved all of my toiletries from upstairs to downstairs, that meant that I had to remove all of Jim’s toiletries. Imagine throwing out his dentures. And every single thing I used to take care of him, to tend to him as he was dying.

                          There is no time for grieving then. It’s about doing what has to be done.

                          And now, I’m anticipating the chaos of having workers going in and out of my home day after day after day. There will be no peace or quiet for a long while.

                          John offered his home to me, if I needed a place to stay. I told him, “It’s one thing to be with you for an hour or two, much of it outside, with masks on, and another thing to live in your home, and use your toilets/shower, etc. I can’t wear a mask 24 hours a day and wrap myself in plastic. At least the germs here are ‘familiar germs.’”

                          John understood. I’m terrified of getting COVID-19, only because I have so many things, which I need to accomplish before I join Jim, Jonathan and Michael.

                          Angels from all directions are on my side, and I give thanks for every one of you. I feel you lifting me up, when I falter, and praying for me and thinking of me, as I endeavor to carry on. Thank you all so much.

                          I love you all, and I pray for you and your loved ones everyday.

                          Be well. Stay strong. Be blessed.

                          Love & Light,



                          Rose

                          *Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!
                          Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

                          Comment


                            #58
                            Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah that you have a wonderful team that is protecting you physically, emotionally and financially! This is wonderful news. I am so glad that compassion trumps all other concerns in your repairs right now.

                            Thank you so much for the update, Rose. I know that the construction will be upsetting and disruptive but I know that the results will give you hope and peace. I know it.
                            Love to you and everyone around you who is keeping you safe and consoled. xoxo Donna
                            Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
                            Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com

                            Comment


                              #59
                              I was worried about you, Rose. Thank you for posting. I see that you are in good hands.

                              Angels all around, indeed.
                              ANN
                              There comes a time when silence is betrayal.- MLK

                              Comment


                                #60
                                Mold is nothing to mess with, but it sounds like you are in great hands. Love to hear so many compassionate and caring friends and professionals are surrounding you and making your life easier. Huge answer to prayer.

                                Got a call from Tyler’s Doctor. They want to try Tyler on an antibiotic called Fosfomycin to try and keep him out of the hospital. One dose every 72 hrs. for nine days. Works for us. Just praying it works. Got 1 hr. 50 min. of sleep last night. We can’t keep this up. Something had to give.

                                Rest easy Rose.
                                grandmother of Tyler (27): Ohtahara Syndrome/SCN2a gene mutation, cortically visually impaired, quadriplegic, severely developmentally delayed, no speech, severe intractable seizures, frontal and temporal lobe atrophy, progressive scoliosis/kyphosis, chronic kidney stones & UTI's, gastroparesis, 100% tube fed, autonomic dysreflexia, but what a precious gift from God. "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."

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