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What's happening? Part 3

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    Good day wonderful peeps.

    hannah I am terribly sorry about your husband, I may have said that already. What kind of meditation and tapes do you use? My pain management has this new thing where they assign you a care team. They text me like once a week to see how I am doing and once in a while they ask if I have found a new pain management doctor. Next time I am going to tell them yes and that his name is Joe Dispenza LOLOL. Wonder how long it will take them to figure it out. In the six years I have been seeing my pain management doc the only thing I got from them was 14 pain pills, a refill on a muscle relaxer that my ex-pain management wrote me, and a lot of back injections, oh and let's not forget the many times they tried to send me to PT. I sure miss my old doc. Thank goodness I have a great primary care doc.

    As for microdosing it is going fantastically. I am going to take a big dose here soon and see how things progress. I'm kind of afraid because I will be alone. Well, in my room. I have redone my bedroom. I realized that this room has had the same configuration for three generations. Time for a change. I moved it all myself, very carefully and somehow even though I took out a piece of furniture I had a lot more room so now it is my bedroom/office. So as they say the stage is set. My boys are here so they can keep an eye on me. I was hoping to find a sitter but Brandon says if it is going to be a therapy session he can't do it. He is too emotional and sensitive. He will be here just in case but I can't find anyone else. The one person I trust to do it cannot drive and I don't have a car. I tried to ask for some pointers from my group but got nothing. Instead, after I messaged them to tell them I may be terrified I went to FB and this was on my newsfeed,

    9 Behold, I have commanded you. Be strong and of good courage; fear not, neither be dismayed; for your God is with you wherever you go.

    Joshua 1:9

    Lamsa Translation Peshitta Bible

    I told my group and my mentor said I got my answer, to just relax, stay inside, and be me LOLOL. That's not very reassuring. He said no matter how it goes I will be a changed person. I have heard that even those who have a not-so-good experience learned and gained from it in a hugely positive way. It's funny, I noticed yesterday that I am not smoking as much. I am really wanting to quit so I believe this is a good start.

    Flatcap your 50% idea is brilliant. Seems I may have heard something like that somewhere. When trying to lose weight use a sandwich plate instead of a big dinner plate and always leave some food. Most definitely will give proper cred. LOL. I have discovered that for me it is watching documentaries on food. Not talking about the feel-good new dishes type I mean the ones that show you how our government is poisoning us. I can't believe that food manufacturers make their products differently for other countries. Almost all shredded cheese has wood chips and eye medication in it. Your ground pepper is allowed so much twigs, weeds, and other trash, it is recommend buying whole peppercorns. Coffee is the same. Buy whole beans. And dear God on and on. I just saw them do a test of chickens, perdue claims they have the best with no antibiotics blah blah blah and they turned out to have the most IN STORE chicken that contained Salmonella. Do not buy bagged or containerized fresh fruit or veggies. Over-processed food is killing us. We ate fast food three times in one week. Normally it is like once every six months or so. We were all sick. Felt like crap, guts acting up. It was horrible. We are going back to once in a great while.

    I actually started this post two days ago. It's Wednesday now and I have decided to do a big dose Saturday. I have been doing some research on speakers who talk about their experiences and though many say that there was a dark period they pushed through and it turned into an amazing experience. Most of the negative bits of the experience stem from the ego's pushback. If you relax, ignore it, and go with the flow as they say then things turn amazing.

    So I am looking forward to it. It seems I have been making this post forever.

    Comment


      Houghchrst, I hope your large dose went well. Please do let us know how things turned out.

      Comment


        Chris, I hope you can find someone to be with you as needed. Might there be a neighbor who is willing and able?
        SPMS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2001-2004. Copaxone 2006-2009. Glatopa (glatiramer acetate = Copaxone) since December 2020.

        Comment


          Bright sunny morning my peeps. Michigan has not made up it's mind if it is winter or spring. It was in the 70s the other day and then we had about an inch of snow but by the next day it was disappearing despite a cooling trend. Today we're going to hit 50 again. If the sun is shining that is good enough for me.

          Well I did my dose last Saturday. I stayed in my room and my guys kept an eye on me. I guess they aren't boys anymore LOL. I started at 11 and about 4 it started abating. For all of my preparation, watching official sittings which are usually with the patient lying down with a blankie, eye shades and headphones. I had chosen a binaural frequency to listen to. So when I could feel it coming on I put on my shades and climbed into bed under my meditation afghan. I should attach a picture. I will explain later. When I started hallucinating I got incredibly beautiful visuals behind my closed eyes but after a couple minutes I kind of became uncomfortable and the music was affecting the visuals and it got to where it just did not feel natural. It didn't feel like me. So off came everything but the blanket and I got comfortable. Warm and cozy. I remember sobbing at one point with exhaustion from carrying so much unnecessary baggage for decades. And for some reason the lady that runs a food bank that I had been to on the previous Tuesday popped in my head. She was about 4 feet tall and a Latina senior. She was so kind and generous. She has dedicated her life to helping others and the gratitude for people like her swelled in me and I sobbed some more. I have multiple sources of light in my room, not bright but pretty so I had all of those turned on. They were beautiful and while I could see out the window across the room that it was gray and gloomy the window next to me looked and felt like the sun was shining in. I would peek out once in a while and the auras, prisms of light creating rainbows around everything was overwhelmingly bright and beautiful. I smiled a lot at just happiness.

          It was an incredible experience. I feel incredible. I am learning so much. If you listen to Joe Dispenza he knows what he is talking about. I am doing his Becoming Supernatural audio book. I still do my daily mantra and video. I try to make sure I journal a few days a week but I would like to get a routine going. My mantra and video are first thing. ANd also I want to get my meditation up to twice a day. My pain is still manageable.

          My weight is steady but I want to lose more. I know what is blocking me so I will correct it. Went to the doc for a physical yesterday. We are working on getting me off of another med. I think that will make 9 meds I am off. This is a big one though, I have run out and the withdrawals are brutal so it will be a long slow titrate.

          I have to admit that over the last week sudden feeling of contentedness will over come me, so strongly that I almost drop to my knees with relief. I just don't really have the words to describe this amazing feeling. When you learn that you are not an island and that we are all connected with each other and with everything that has matter things begin to look different.

          Time to feed the herd LOL. I'll be back.

          Comment


            Houghchrst, thanks for the update. I'm glad that your heroic dose went so well and that your program continues working for you, especially in the pain management department.

            It's good you have been able to drop some of your prescriptions. The fewer, the better, if you ask me. I hope your titration for this latest one goes as smoothly as possible.

            I also hope you have continuing good luck on your weight loss journey. It's not easy, but you can get there. I have faith in you.

            Comment


              Chris, I don't know if this is of any interest since I believe the authors are dealing with a different dosage of psilocybin but I don't often see medical journal articles about psilocybin and thought you might want to look at this one--from JAMA (August 21, 2023), "Single-dose psilocybin treatment for major depressive disorder: A randomized clinical trial":

              Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...
              SPMS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2001-2004. Copaxone 2006-2009. Glatopa (glatiramer acetate = Copaxone) since December 2020.

              Comment

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