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Thread: refusal to go to hospital for treatment

  1. #1

    Default refusal to go to hospital for treatment

    My wife suffers from a gradual blurring of her vision even though at the moment, she is doing just fine, I think, we should take action, at the earliest. I am no expert in this area, but anything that affects the eyes needs immediate attention. I am very much concerned about her health, and I think this gradual blurring can result in permanent blindness, if not treated properly and if not treated at the right time. She is not serious about it and I think that could be due to her lack of knowledge about it. She is a special character, she doesn't like to be lectured, and the worst part, she is a bit stubborn. Hence I think, it would be better for a cataract surgeon to do this job and I have, without her consent booked an appointment with a cataract surgeon in Toronto. I hope everything turns out to be ok. From the years that I have known her, she is very reluctant to go to a hospital or consult a doctor for that matter. I was wondering if there is something that I could do to help her out. If her behavior signifies, a phobia, I was wondering if she is afraid of the hospitals and if so what could I do to ease that fear. I think it is very important that she attend the hospital, and get a professional opinion, but I could not do it, without her consent. I shouldn't have fixed the opinion without her consent in the first place, but then, I didn't think about it much. what should I do guys.
    Last edited by Moderator #7; 12-11-2018 at 08:45 AM. Reason: No links allowed for new members.

  2. #2
    Distinguished Community Member agate's Avatar
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    Hi amyjackson,
    Welcome to BrainTalk!

    I'm no authority on eye issues or on anxiety disorders but I have MS as well as untreated cataracts. I've had the cataracts now for about 20 years, and I keep saying No to the surgery. With MS and my age (up in my 70s), I feel that any surgery should be avoided if at all possible. It would be stressful, and I react very badly to stress.

    But that is just me. Most eye doctors advise doing cataract surgery before a person gets too far along in years simply because the surgery is easier when you're younger. And apparently the surgery is much easier now for most people than it once was.

    A lot depends on your wife's age and general physical condition.

    You've made an appointment for her with a cataract surgeon without her consent. When do you plan to let her know? I hope it will be soon, and that she will have an opportunity to cancel it if she chooses. In the end, this really has to be her decision, doesn't it?

    Of course you don't want her to go blind. However, cataracts usually have to be very advanced before a person becomes legally blind--and total blindness due to cataracts is very rare. A person can get along tolerably well while legally blind. I've known quite a few people who have done well in spite of severely impaired vision or legal blindness, which is different from total blindness. There are many types of visual aids that are quite helpful.

    If your wife does activities that require close attention to detail--quilting or reading smaller print, for instance--it might be very important for her to have very good vision. But it is up to her whether that cataract surgery is something she wants to go ahead with.

    Maybe talking to some people who have had successful cataract surgery would help to ease her mind. Also, finding out more specific details about what would actually happen during and after the surgery might reassure her.

    I'm afraid that scheduling an appointment for her without her knowledge might seem like undue pressure to her. I hope you will rethink this, or else gently let her know that you have done this, as soon as possible.
    Last edited by agate; 12-11-2018 at 01:09 PM.
    MS, diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2001-2004. Copaxone 2006-2009.

    "Always put off until tomorrow whatever you think you should do today." --Anonymous

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  4. #3
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    I am scared of hospitals after having gone through surgery and making an appointment without her consent with make her more frightened and resistant to your suggestions. As much as we may not like it our loved ones have a right to refuse any medical attention they do not want if they are an adult. She should make the appointments. Not you.
    Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
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