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Thread: Angels with there wing already -you know - we go back

  1. #1
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    Default Angels with there wing already -you know - we go back

    That I Have not been here for you. I'm am sorry to hear about Jim and your son, who suffers from multiple illness's. If you would PM me , I would like to offer my support in any way I can.
    Many,Many blessings
    Skypilot Steve AKA alex44

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  3. #2
    Distinguished Community Member Earth Mother 2 Angels's Avatar
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    ((((((Steve))))))) ~

    I just found this thread, as I was thinking about you and wondering how you are. Thank you for your offers of help for our family. I hope you still stop by to read, and if so, please post an update.

    I pray that you are healthy and are finding peace in your grief.

    Love & Light,



    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 48, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003 and now resides in Heaven. Our Angel Jon lives at home with me and Jim, the world's most wonderful Dad.

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    Mothers to Angels - It is by the grace of god and Folk like you that I am Surviving. It has been eight Months and the grief is still incredible. Thank you and all the friends I have as well as several earth angels like you that are helping me. - Yes I am getting counseling but I am still in grief - I am getting better but it is a slow process, I have been following the updates and wish Jim the best as well as Jon and the rest of your family. Ya'll are in my prayers.
    Blessings
    Skypilot Steve
    AKA Alex44

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    ((((((Steve)))))) ~

    Thank you for taking time to stop by and update.

    I'm so glad that you are in counseling. Grief is a slow process, and the first year is very challenging. The wound is still fresh and raw, and it takes time for healing to bring us to a place of peace. You are following the right path on your grief journey, so keep moving forward with your therapist. Hold on tight to your faith.

    Thank you for your prayers for Jim and Jon, and please know that you are also in our prayers. I pray that you feel Cynthia's presence very near you. Her Spirit, as you know, lives forever. Let her light shine upon you.

    Love & Light,



    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 48, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003 and now resides in Heaven. Our Angel Jon lives at home with me and Jim, the world's most wonderful Dad.

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    Rose - God Bless You. Yes, the grief process takes a long time but as you know, I am seeing a counselor and it helps. Yes, Cynthia is always near me, I feel her presence and hugs - Great Insight, Thank you.
    Always in my prayers,
    Blessings
    Skypilot Steve
    AKA known as alex44

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    Thank You Rose = Blessings to you and your Family.
    Thank You
    Alex44 - AKA Steve - Skypilot

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    Rose - Having read your last update, I can relate to Jim's efforts to help. I often overdo to help my friends, which in a small town like I live in, are Gold. I guess you could say that we always want to feel needed. and we do our best, Esp. with Jon, he wants to help, I respect that you don't want him to over-do, but if Jim stay's within limits that don't hurt him, IMHO, it is probably not a bad thing for his self esteem. I know you want to do it all, but we all need a helping hand sometimes. Been there, Done that. I keep your family in my prayers and wish you and your family the best.
    Blessings
    Skypilot Steve (AKA alex44)

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    ((((((Steve)))))) ~

    Thank you so much for your perspective.

    I do understand Jim's need to feel useful. He also comments all of the time about how he can't stand to "lay around" watching me do everything. He feels guilty.

    This evening, Jim revealed to me that he told Dr. K about Jonathan and his needs, and that during flu season, Jim has been turning Jon. Dr. K said, "You probably shouldn't be doing that."

    Jim told Dr. K, "But sometimes, we don't have a choice, doctor. My wife can't turn him, and we are trying to keep away from this deadly flu."

    John turned Jonathan on Monday and yesterday, Thursday, which freed Jim from that task. Already, Jim is admitting that his neck and shoulders feel better.

    I do not want Jim to stress about anything, especially whether he's "contributing" to the household chores and caring for Jon. I keep telling him that he's contributing by still being here. I need his hugs, his laughter, his emotional support, his help in decisions, his listening ear, his kindness, his love, his physical presence.

    If he injures himself by exerting or overdoing, then that causes him pain, and that causes me pain. And it causes me more work, because it's a setback for him. So, he can really help me most by taking it easy.

    For us, this a true challenge, because we are a team. And I know that if the roles were reversed, I would feel the same way that Jim does. It's not really about self esteem. It's about loving your partner so much that you don't want to cause your partner more work, stress, loss of sleep, worry, etc.

    But, you know, as well as I do, that this is completely unavoidable. When one of us is weaker than the other, and when one of us is able to provide care, we do it.

    Thank you so much for your prayers, Steve, and please know that you are in our prayers too.

    Bless You ~

    Love & Light,



    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 48, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003 and now resides in Heaven. Our Angel Jon lives at home with me and Jim, the world's most wonderful Dad.

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    Rose - to quote you - "For us, this a true challenge, because we are a team. And I know that if the roles were reversed, I would feel the same way that Jim does. It's not really about self esteem. It's about loving your partner so much that you don't want to cause your partner more work, stress, loss of sleep, worry, etc. I wrote the above a while back. I hope you did not take offence. Me and my
    precious Cynthia were a team, we took care of each other to the max, I wound up doing everything -Glad to do it but I truly hope you never have to make the decisions I had to make, She passed 6-12-17 and I am still in deep shock. Blessings to your family -you re an earth angel.
    Blessings
    Skypilot Steve AKA Alex44
    Last edited by alex44; 05-13-2018 at 04:13 AM.

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    ((((((Steve)))))) ~

    I completely understand your shock and grieving for Cynthia. You are approaching the one year "Angelversary" for Cynthia. These are difficult days, I know.

    Both of my sons have been intubated so many times that I have lost count. I had to make the decision to give them ventilation and to remove it every time. I truly know the weight of that decision, and I know about second-guessing and guilt and questioning. When I made those decisions for Michael 15 years ago, he received his wings.

    It helps me to remember that Michael suffered his entire life, and when he declined at the end, it was obvious that the quality of his life was gone. We were only sustaining him for our sake, because we didn't want to let him go.

    You made decisions for Cynthia, as she wanted them to be made. You followed her requests, and that is your everlasting gift to her.

    I know that I may be faced with those decisions again with Jon and Jim, and there isn't any way for me to prepare myself for how stressful and painful that would be. Even when we know that we are following our loved one's wishes, it doesn't make it easier to follow through with our commitment.

    Be gentle with yourself. Take care of yourself. Embrace your memories with Cynthia and feel the love surrounding you.

    You are in my prayers, Steve.

    Love & Light,



    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 48, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003 and now resides in Heaven. Our Angel Jon lives at home with me and Jim, the world's most wonderful Dad.

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