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    A Prayer Request For Jim

    ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

    I come to you asking for prayers, healing thoughts, and positive energy for my beloved husband, Jim, the world’s most wonderful Dad.

    Jim has a 2 1/2 inch mass on his left lung, lower lobe. Following a CT scan last week, Jim met with our pulmonologist (he treated Michael during his final illness and has treated Jon several times in ICU). He told Jim that he believes that the mass is cancerous.

    On Friday, 1/13, Jim will have a needle biopsy of the mass, performed at our hospital. If all goes well, he will return home in the afternoon, and I will provide his care. If there are complications, Jim will be in the finest hospital in our area, with state of the art technology.

    We’re trying to process all of this, which seems sudden but was expected in some ways, given Jim’s symptoms. We did our best to prepare for this diagnosis, while keeping our prayers on the answer being anything else other than cancer.

    Since you don’t know Jim, let me share a few things about him with you.

    Jim and I met when Jim arrived as Michael’s school bus driver in 1992. We became friends. We fell in love. We married. We’ve been together for 25 years this year, and during that time, we have only been apart for 5 days, when he returned to England for his mother’s funeral in 1999.

    Jim is a devoted dad, and he has provided every kind of care to Michael and Jon, he has been at their bedside in the hospital with every crisis, throughout the night. He isn’t afraid to do anything ~ suction, change a trache in an emergency, whatever is needed, he’s there and ready to do it. He always remains calm and collected, helping me to do the same.

    Within a couple of minutes of being in the presence of Jim and Jon, you will know how much they adore each other. Jim’s illness will impact Jon severely, and we need to protect him as much as possible from this stress.

    Jim has served Jon and Michael, me, our family, our friends, strangers ~ he is gentle, loving, caring, compassionate person. And he has a fantastic sense of humor. He is British.

    I can’t be in two places at once, of course, so we have to rely on our dearest friends to help us through this crisis. There are many things to consider, and my mind is spinning constantly thinking of what we need to do and when we can get it done.

    We thank you for your prayers, your love and support. We appreciate all of the positive energy we can get right now.

    Life is precious and precarious.

    God Bless You ~

    Love & Light,

    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

    #2
    Sending up prayers for Jim and positive energy for all of you.

    Marcie
    Last edited by Nick,Brian,andJon'sMom; 01-08-2017, 06:05 AM.

    Comment


      #3
      Dear Rose,

      Thank you for telling your story of how Jim came into your family's life.

      I pray for Jim and for your family and those that love him. I know your problems seem insurmountable, but I know your support network will be there for you all. I hope your faith sustains you daily and I hope you find pockets of serenity in the days ahead.

      #7

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        #4
        Hugs and thoughts to you, Jim and Jon. What horrible news to start off 2017. I hope the biopsy goes smoothly and you are able to get some answers. You and Jon sound very lucky to have Jim, and I'm sure he feels the same about you. Lots of love. Xx
        Enjoying the excitements of life. Looking forward to what's to come! What a ride!

        Comment


          #5
          Was hoping for better news. My brother had a similiar mass and it was cancer. He had a portion of his lobe removed and is doing just fine. Praying the mass isn't cancerous or if is, is treatable. Prayers for you too Rose, as you try and get your heart and mind around this. Know you are dearly loved by so many and will be raised up in prayer daily. Please keep us informed as best you can.
          grandmother of Tyler (27): Ohtahara Syndrome/SCN2a gene mutation, cortically visually impaired, quadriplegic, severely developmentally delayed, no speech, severe intractable seizures, frontal and temporal lobe atrophy, progressive scoliosis/kyphosis, chronic kidney stones & UTI's, gastroparesis, 100% tube fed, autonomic dysreflexia, but what a precious gift from God. "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."

          Comment


            #6
            Oh no Rose! I'm so sorry to hear this news. Jim sounds like a great person and father and the definition of generosity. I have experience with lung cancer in my family. My relative lived much,much longer than any of us or the docs thought they would(lived for years). I also pray that it is NOT cancer and if it is, that it can be brought into remission.

            As for Jon, I know it will be painful for him and painful for you and Jim to share the news but I think Jon will appreciate you being completely honest with him. As a disabled adult I prefer honesty and being part of the process regardless of the emotion involved because it makes me feel respected as a full fledged adult and friend/family member. If you are honest with Jon I think he will respect it and perhaps feel that he can help you. I think Jon is more than capable of handling this from the way you describe him,his sensibility,personality. I understand you wish to protect Jon given his health issues and attachment to Jim but honesty is always better. I think from the way you post about involving Jon in your lives you already know this in your heart but I thought it was worth mentioning.

            My deepest love and prayers for ALL of you! Keep us all updated please???
            Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
            My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

            Comment


              #7
              ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

              Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement, Marcie, Moderator #7, CPChick, Tamie and funnylegs4.

              It is reassuring to know that your brother is well after his surgery, Tamie, and to know that your relative lived many years after a lung cancer diagnosis, funnylegs4.

              Our pulmo wants to be wrong, of course, but given his extensive experience, we believe that he knows what he's seeing on the CT scan images. He went over them with Jim, pointing out the "tentacles" on the mass (which Jim says looks like a jellyfish) and stating "this is where the cancer is eating the tissue."

              Yet, our pulmo is also astounded at how good Jim's vitals and blood work are. He even passed the pulmonary function test. All of this seems to portend well for Jim as he goes through this process of diagnosis.

              With regard to what and when we tell Jon about Jim's condition ~

              Jon is very sensitive and easily depressed by world events, like natural disasters, shootings, war, and political turmoil. He used to be a news fanatic, until we realized the effects on him emotionally and physically. For years, we have shielded him from bad news. He doesn't need to know about every tragedy in the world.

              Every day for 13 1/2 years, Jon has grieved for his brother, Michael. So, he is very delicate emotionally, and we have to be aware of this in how we share information about Jim.

              Additionally, Jon is medically fragile, coping with his own medical issues and periodic crises. We don't want to exacerbate anything by upsetting Jon over Jim's health. We will tell Jon what he needs to know in the gentlest possible ways, when we feel that he needs to know.

              Jon was 20 years old, when his biological sperm donor (aka the person he knew as "Dad") abandoned him and Michael. Prior to that the visits were sparse for many years. "Dad" moved far away, and dropped in for a couple of hours every few years.

              Then, Jim entered our lives, and Jon and Michael had a REAL DAD. A loving, committed, devoted, and caring DAD, who did everything for them joyfully. Who put their needs before his own. Who changed his life to be their careprovider and protector. Jim has been DAD for many years longer than the original version.

              So the intimate care, the 24/7/365 presence of Jim for Jon is profound, and Jon will be devastated that his DAD can't be with him all of the time, while he's going through whatever process awaits ~ surgery, treatment, recovery. We don't know what awaits, which is the scary part right now. And Jon doesn't need to know that his DAD is going through all of this.

              Nothing good can come of it, if we say to Jon, "It looks like your dad has cancer, and he's going to be getting lots of tests, maybe be in the hospital to have surgery, and there's a lot of other stuff we'll have to deal with in the coming weeks and months."

              To Jon, being in the hospital means in ICU, on a vent, near death. We don't want him to associate his experiences with what is happening to Jim.

              Jon knows that Jim is not well. For some time now, well, since 2015, when Jim had a horrid RA flare and was incapacitated for months, Jon has known that Jim has times when he doesn't feel good and has to go to bed. When Jon asks for Jim, I explain that "Jim isn't feeling good today, and he didn't sleep well last night, so he's in bed sleeping and trying to feel better. Like you are."

              But it's the potential hospitalization/surgery that is concerning most right now. I have to be with Jon to provide his care, but I want/need to be at the hospital with Jim. I will have to coordinate with our friends and nurses to stay with Jon for an hour or two, so that I can be at the hospital with Jim.

              When Jim and I discussed this, he said, "No! You need to be here with Jon. I'll be okay."

              And I told Jim that I have to be with him, if only for an hour or two, and to talk with his physicians and nurses (they'll be getting constant phone calls from me, when I can't be with him). Jim is worried about me dividing myself between him and Jon. That's never been a problem before, and it isn't now. We'll figure it out somehow.

              Things are happening quickly now, and we haven't had enough time to prepare. It's frustrating and stressful, but we'll find a way to get everything in place.

              I thank you again and again for your prayers, love and support. I promise to keep you updated as events unfold.

              Love & Light,

              Rose
              Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

              Comment


                #8
                Oh Rose, I'm so sorry to hear this. Many many prayers for all to go smoothly. Thank you for sharing your story... I wish I was closer and could do more for you both.
                Mary Grace

                Comment


                  #9
                  ((((((Mary Grace)))))) ~

                  Thank you so much for your prayers.

                  Today, I spoke with the radiology nurse about Jim's after care following his needle biopsy. I feared that Jim's lung could collapse over the weekend, since the pulmo indicated to Jim that he was concerned about Jim's lung collapsing even without a biopsy.

                  The nurse said that if Jim's lung is going to collapse, it will happen during the biopsy or thereafter within the 3 hours of recovery. She said that it is very rare.

                  She also said to keep an eye on the injection site for redness or swelling, and Jim's temperature, as those would be indications of infection. She said this was also rare. She told us to call the pulmo, as Jim will need antibiotics, and I noted that it will be the weekend, and it will be difficult to reach the doctor. So, she said, bring him to the ER.

                  Yes, of course, because that is so easy for us. I just leave Jon home unattended and drive Jim to the ER. Or let's say it's midnight, and I have to call a friend to take him to the ER. Or, I have to call an ambulance.

                  She assured me that they've done thousands of biopsies, and that adverse reactions are rare. That doesn't help me, really. I have two children with undiagnosed neurological disorders. If it's rare, it happens to us.

                  I can't count the number of times I've heard, "This is the first time I've seen this," or "I've never seen anything like this in my career." From medical crises to mechanical failures on appliances or automobiles. I've heard it.

                  In addition to Jim's biopsy occurring on Friday the 13th, I realized today that on Thursday, we have a Full Moon.

                  And our nurse mentioned that colds and flu seem to be prevelant in our area right now.

                  Somehow, I have to ignore all of that and have complete faith that all will be well. That's a tall order, and I'm really working hard on it.

                  Thank you to all, who are joining in prayer for Jim's healing and for our family. We love you and thank God for the blessing you are in our lives.

                  Love & Light,

                  Rose
                  Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Rose,
                    I understand. Like you, when people I know are medically fragile I fear stressing them. You are Jon's mother and know best. Just be completely honest with the little bit you do tell Jon. Jon will appreciate that. Just as you told me a few years ago deep breathes my dear. I am praying it will all work out just fine with no complications. Jim is a strong guy. You will find a way through! Thanks for this update. Keep us updated and feel free to vent to me anytime if you need it.
                    Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
                    My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Hi Rose!

                      I just read your email and wanted to reply, but can't since we're at the hospital still. For some reason, I can receive but not send email when I am here. Well, I could send if I use the online portal from my internet provider but it is a big pain....so anyways! I wanted to write that I am thinking of you all and sending prayers for Jim's biopsy to go well with no complications!!! I hope everything goes smoothly with getting him there and definitely no collapsed lung! I know how hard that must be for you to not be able to go along. I am sure that feeds into the cleaning frenzy. I know I was crazy with cooking last week. Not sure why I fixated on that, but I pretty much won't have to cook at all the rest of January! We have 2 freezers so I had plenty of room to put all the food somewhere. I will put an update on Caitlin on a separate post on here.

                      It is good to cry and let the stress go! I am like you and do not do it in front of anyone though. For me, the tears come when I am driving in my van. It works for me! Usually a song will come on and the tears start to flow.

                      I will be sending positive energy & prayers your way today and will check back later for updates!

                      Love & hugs!!!!!
                      Lisa O.
                      sigpicLisa O: mom to Caitlin (14-CP, VA shunt, seizures), Brandon (12), Tyler (10), Logan (7)...my babies are all getting so old!!

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                        #12
                        Rose, Praying today for the best possible outcome with Jim's biopsy. I'll be watching for an update whenever you get time. Sending warm hugs and positive thoughts too!
                        Mary Grace

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                          #13
                          Sending prayers up for Jim today.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Praying for you and Jim today Rose. Update when you can.
                            grandmother of Tyler (27): Ohtahara Syndrome/SCN2a gene mutation, cortically visually impaired, quadriplegic, severely developmentally delayed, no speech, severe intractable seizures, frontal and temporal lobe atrophy, progressive scoliosis/kyphosis, chronic kidney stones & UTI's, gastroparesis, 100% tube fed, autonomic dysreflexia, but what a precious gift from God. "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Hi Rose,
                              I have been thinking about you and Jim and praying for you all day. I pray there are absolutely no complications. As Lisa said, do not worry if you have to cry. I cry by myself or with someone I trust who won't judge the tears. It's sometimes the best way to release.

                              I just read your email and wanted to reply, but can't since we're at the hospital still. For some reason, I can receive but not send email when I am here. Well, I could send if I use the online portal from my internet provider but it is a big pain....so anyways!
                              Lisa, my friend had the same problem when she went to the hospital to have her baby. Some hospitals have free wifi hotspots you can send email from. You can ask someone who works there if your hospital has any.
                              Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
                              My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

                              Comment

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