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Thread: Sad that I can't Give

  1. #1
    Distinguished Community Member SuzE-Q's Avatar
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    Default Sad that I can't Give

    I have always liked to give. They say it is always better to give than receive, especially this time of year. I agree, there's no better feeling. It feels so good, it's almost selfish.

    I'm just really sad this year that my health prevents me from giving and helping out anywhere. Lately, I just don't have the strength or energy. Charities are apt to say that if you're not able to physically help out, then some money goes a long way, but sadly, I don't have any of that to spare either. I could be on the receiving end if I'd accept it.

    It just really makes me sad that MS has taken away such a fulfilling part of my life.

    Not fair.

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    Distinguished Community Member Lazarus's Avatar
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    I know you. You will soon see other paths to helping...paths that you can take. I have been thinking along these lines myself.

    When my mother lived alone in her later years, my sister and I had a system so that one of us called her each day. Those conversations helped her. I think phone calls help a lot. Elderly people are often so isolated that the meals on wheels people, the nurses who call to schedule appointments, the ups truck---anything to break the loneliness is appreciated.
    We could coordinate things to help that...a calling bank of people who stay in touch.

    Or even writing short notes to those who live in your community and who are alone. Touching the outside world for those whose grasp is tentative...that is nice to do.
    Simple idea but it makes it easier to ignore what we can not do.
    Last edited by Lazarus; 12-24-2014 at 09:20 AM.
    Linda~~~~

    Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says:"Oh Crap, She's up!"

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  5. #3
    Distinguished Community Member SuzE-Q's Avatar
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    Thanks for your reply, Laz!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lazarus View Post
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    a calling bank of people who stay in touch. Or even writing short notes to those who live in your community and who are alone. Touching the outside world for those whose grasp is tentative...that is nice to do.
    Simple idea but it makes it easier to ignore what we can not do.

    How would I go about finding ways to do this, do you think, who would I get in touch with?

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    Distinguished Community Member agate's Avatar
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    SuzE-Q, have you checked with the Red Cross? They often have a program for contacting people who are shut in. For years I was a volunteer caller for their program in the town I was living in. They hooked me up with people who needed and wanted to be called, often on a daily basis. There were a couple of people I called for years.

    If you have a skill like sewing or music, a senior center might want to use you as a volunteer, also.

    If you can read aloud, many blind people are very glad to have someone who will read to them. Some are students keeping up with required readings in school and need good readers. There is technology that does this now but not everyone has access to it.

    Or you might think about being on the receiving end sometimes. Sometimes we need to forget about all that other people seem to be doing and even give them a chance to do something for us. Many are eager to help. Why not let them feel good by helping you?
    MS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2002-2005. Copaxone 6/07 - 5/10.
    Member of this MS board since 2001.

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  9. #5
    Distinguished Community Member SuzE-Q's Avatar
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    Thanks so much, agate!

    Quote Originally Posted by agate View Post
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    Or you might think about being on the receiving end sometimes. Sometimes we need to forget about all that other people seem to be doing and even give them a chance to do something for us. Many are eager to help. Why not let them feel good by helping you?
    Who might I phone to ASK for help, do you think?

    And I wonder why the people in my life don't feel so charitable and generous to offer such support themselves to me, I wonder??!?? I have always loved helping others, it gives me great pleasure to be of service to others. I wonder why others aren't so inclined...

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  11. #6
    Distinguished Community Member renee's Avatar
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    I think most people have good hearts but it takes a degree of
    empathy and time to help that most don't have.

    And there is a lack of knowledge about individuals with a chronic
    illness and discomfort with illness.
    A friend told me that she volunteered for Hospice.
    Even though I have used 4 or 5 of my nine lives I don't think I could
    ever work with supposedly terminal patients.
    It would break my heart every visit.

    Asking people for help makes me uncomfortable and I don't think
    most people know how much their assistance or chat enhances my life.
    I get out but I can't hike or ski or ice skate (intentionally) anymore.
    That knocks me out of a lot of playtime w/friends.
    Boo hoo, no more frostbite.

    I just broke the age barrier to join a senior center OMG!
    The good news is the place offers art classes.
    They have twice weekly clay workshops (I was an active mud puppy) as well
    as classes in other mediums. Using my hands and mind creatively is exciting
    and the opportunity to expand on social contacts is vital as others fade.

    Besides those benefits, I think the center will offer some solutions
    for help when I need it. The regional independent center has always been a
    good info outlet for me.

    Do what you can and give yourself a little push.
    And don't allow yourself to be embarrassed.
    Last edited by renee; 12-24-2014 at 03:33 PM. Reason: why you ask?

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  13. #7
    Distinguished Community Member agate's Avatar
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    If the people you know aren't inclined, and that often happens, you might want to turn to any of the helping agencies. The MS Society can be a resource, as well as the MS Foundation and the MS Association, but there are also the Red Cross, the Easter Seal Society, and various helping organizations in most larger communities, even many smaller ones.

    You may need to make many calls before you find something useful but these efforts are often worth the time and effort.

    The people you know who don't seem inclined might just feel as if they don't know how to help and are waiting for you to tell them. They may even be afraid of hurting your sense of self-worth by asking if they can help you.

    Some are just the sort who back off from anything that looks like effort on their part, to be sure. But others might surprise you.
    MS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2002-2005. Copaxone 6/07 - 5/10.
    Member of this MS board since 2001.

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  15. #8
    Distinguished Community Member SuzE-Q's Avatar
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    Thanks so much, renee and Agate. Excellent ideas and thoughts!

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  17. #9
    Distinguished Community Member BBS1951's Avatar
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    Your presence here on this board helps everyone including me :)

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  19. #10
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    Suze-Q, some very good replies to a question I think many of us have asked ourselves.

    I certainly agree with BBS1951. Your presence on the board means a lot to many of us.
    Virginia

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