and I can't tell if it is the new med or if it is a bit of withdrawal and the anxiety that quitting smoking is causing me. Not to mention fall preparation of the yard. It has gotten cold out already and time is ticking away while I do nothing and feel like doing nothing. My kitchen is back to wreck status. just the dishes but I feel it. I am so overwhelmed with stuff that needs to be done that I am not getting anything done. My days are the same, I get up and take my meds, turn on the puter, let the dogs out, get my coffee, get on puter for a bit then feed the herd. Then do I really feel like I can relax for a bit. I pick up here and there and neaten things up. Run dishwater later in the morning. Back and forth between puter and house stuff. Then about twelve thirty I turn on my shows that I am watching or I watch a movie. Take a nap then by the time I get up it is almost time for the herd to have dinner and then us to have dinner. Watch my shows for a bit then to bed to read then sleep. I can't get anything major done because Jared sleeps all day and by the time he gets up I am already down for a nap or just getting ready to so I only usually see him for a couple hours in the evening. That has to change.

I would like to go back to making my lists of things I want to get done. I haven't done that in so long. A physical list I can scratch off. I can't remember when I last did that. I mean I am always making lists but only for stuff I need to do when I get the car. I need a list.

I wonder if pork is considered red meat. I will have to look it up. I know it has a lot of fat depending on the cut. Totally random.

I just finished trimming the two med plants I had growing. One came out completely seeded. They said it must have come in contact with something that caused it to seed. Strange because the plant that grew next to it was fine. It is very good. Should last me a couple months hopefully. Got way more off of the good plant than the seeded one. CJ wants me to take in his plants as he has to move again already. Means I would have to see him almost everyday. I can't hack that. I am considering it.

Speaking of considering I am thinking seriously about getting a driving job. I would have to pass the urine drug test but I think I can do that. There are companies that are struggling because medical and grocery transport has become huge and they need drivers and dispatch. I have talked to many about their driving and requirements for hiring. At least five companies I have ridden to appts with I have discussed their jobs. All but Lyft and Uber supply the transportation. Lyft and Uber offer vehicles for a fee or you have to have at least a 2004 or up car. Most allow you to set your own hours and you can decide who you want to pick up. I think I can do that I just need a car so I can get to the job. The more people I talk to the more I am considering it.

Working on dishes this morning. I would like to work in the yard but most of my tools are in my wagon way out in the back forty. It needs to be brought up to the house. I dread walking all the way out there. I don't know if I can haul it up to the house by myself.

I know sometimes I end abruptly. Just how things work for me.