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Becoming afraid

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    Becoming afraid

    I have become afraid especially since it seems every time I turn around I need something so I have to go out. Whether food (which I have quite a bit of right now), paper products, pet food, prescriptions. I have set up a little station outside my front door for sanitizing anything I bring in the house. Most can sit outside. I have set up delivery of what I can but it still needs to be sanitized. Brandon goes back and forth between his grandma and I. Honestly we started thinking about it and she may very well have already had it. At the end of last year and beginning of this year a lot of people I know were very sick and I'm not talking just a few days sick I am talking long lasting some for weeks sick. I have wondered if those that recovered had the virus and just weren't tested. I believe everyone is going to get this eventually. It is just a matter of time. It seems to be weeding out the sick and elderly. the perfect population thinner if you are into conspiracy theories.

    I am high risk as an active smoker with asthma and heart disease. I have been writing some things down and making arrangements for my animals should something happen to me. Brandon will not sit and listen because he is afraid and doesn't want to hear it. Says when he visits it is his time, such a spoiled child. LOL I adore him. Jared I am most afraid for. He will live with his father who is an asshole. He is bitter at the world, his family, people in general and always thinks he is funny. One of those guys. I will write letters to both Brandon and Jared. To my furbaby caretakers about each animal and to my brother who I trust to help Brandon out about the house and who gets what. I cannot afford a lawyer but I can get it notarized at least.

    these conversations actually should have already happened back when I had my heart attack. I don't think my boys realize just how bad things could have gone and that the possibility of things going sideways again are very much possible..

    Over and over I've tried to respond to this and write too much, too confused. It's certainly a scary time. I'm praying for all of us.


      Can never be too much, I know you've seen my missives LOL. I am too Jingle, I am too.


        Your post is heart-breaking, Chris. I think a lot of people are thinking about whether theyíd survive or get avventilator if needed. Itís frightening. Talking to your son about serious things is a good thing. I have restated my wishes, altered some for these circumstances, to my husband. We have made plans should one of us get the virus. We have done the practical things to get ready, also.

        Keep talking. Connect with others. Send emails and texts and letters. Make phone calls. Repair relationships. Rearrange the furniture or, in your case because of your back, a closet or a drawer. Cook. Play the music you like. Make a schedule. Keep busy. Try to go to bed tired.

        Letís not get the virus. Letís wear gloves - any gloves- and masks even if itís a folded over scarf or bandana. Limit where you go, who comes into your house. Sanitize things you or Jared bring in.

        We have some degree of control. Itís not inevitable.
        There comes a time when silence is betrayal.- MLK


          ((((((houghchrst)))))) ~

          The stress, anxiety, and fear we are all experiencing is overwhelming. So, I can relate well to what you are going through right now.

          It's possible that the people, who were ill last year/early this year had COVID-19, although it began in Wuhan, China, so it would seem they would need to have had a connection there.

          One positive outcome, to look at it another way, of the virus is that it has propelled you toward making out your will and providing instructions to others. Something we all need and should do, me included. No more procrastinating, you're doing it. I applaud you. I haven't been procrastinating. It's just has not been logistically practical for us. Now, with the virus, we can't have a lawyer meet with us in our home. So good for you. Pat yourself on the shoulder.

          Practice some deep breathing. Check out YouTube for guided meditations to help you relax. Eat healthy food. Get rest and sleep. Take vitamins. Dr. Fauci recommends a reasonable amount of Vitamin C and Vitamin D to boost our immune systems.

          Keep communicating. That's what we're all here for. We are all in this together around the Globe.

          We all need some good news, and John Krasinski has created his own network to bring us that news:

          Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

          Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

          If you have kleenex (I can't seem to find any these days), have them handy, because you'll be touched by the love and caring people are showing toward each other.

          Cling to hope. Send positive energy into the Universe. Stay home, and follow all of the guidelines for protecting yourself from the virus. That is the best that any of us can do.

          Many prayers for you and for all of our loved ones here and everywhere. Send prayers around the world!

          Love & Light,


          *Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!
          Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.