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went back and looked

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through my first three entries and wow was I feeling ambitious. Wonder was it mania, desperation, now I blog through depression and pain. I need to find my way back to that. Andy holy smokes if it ain't been over a year. My God time flies. I feel like I have sunk in a pit since then. My lists have stopped because my pain is so bad that I can do only the bare minimum, clean bathroom, living room, kitchen. Not all at the same time. I go to PT and that's it. I have packed up my meds to go to the club but then I just come home afterwards. Any kind of lifting or arm raising shoots pain into my spine right between my shoulder blades.

I cannot tell if PT is working the only reason I go despite the pain is because of the massage, STIM, and ice afterwards. That and I no longer am getting those muscle spasms up my neck and into my head. that was the main reason I went to the ER. I am getting quite a bit of muscle pain but I cannot tell if it is from the exercises, the deep massage or if it is radiating from my spine issue. The spot on my spine still is in agony but only if I lift my arms over my head or if it is touched while I am doing PT exercises. A fingertip on the right spot while I am at the apex of a particular exercise can shoot me across the room and in order to avoid that I will be brought to the edge of tears with a request for finger removal. I am doing my exercises at home only because I know how important they are. This could turn into something more serious if I don't strengthen those back muscles. At least she thinks i am progressing lol.

Got lecture from someone else, yet again, about meditating. She says every time i come she has to work these huge knots out of my trapezius, especially in my fibro trigger point and up my neck. So I have been instructed to ice and meditate. I have an app for that. I am supposed to be icing three times a day and meditating up to three times a week to start. I am obviously not doing that. Every time I lay down to ice my back Dash freaks out and tries to crawl under my head to make sure i am okay so it takes me a couple minutes to calm him down and guaranteed he will bark at least once. I have tried shutting him out of the room but he sits at the door and paws it every fifteen seconds at least. I consider my napping a long meditation. right now anyway.

As for that list. Yes I have gotten a few things done and I am still making my bed. I am trying to keep up with the brushing I wish my head was not so full when I woke up in the morning. Maybe today I pick something I can do that will not cause me pain. Unfortunately I have dishes that need washing and that requires all arm and back work. I would like to get the foster room cleaned up.

So work on cleaning up foster room today however much I can.

I am loving not taking the Trintillex anymore. I feel much more light headed and energetic.


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