my life at this moment. I sit here considering going to the ER because I am pretty sure there is something seriously wrong. The pain is radiating up the side of my neck and into my head so I have a constant headache.

Went to the ER here. Pain was just too bad. They did an xray and found nothing thank God. Gave me a shot of morphine which took forever to work and script for Baclofen. I just use my Zanaflex instead as it is stronger and seems to work better. I never thought I would say this but PT has been a Godsend. They are so patient and understanding there. Don't dare tell my insurance though or I may never get another procedure done without it. The trigger point massage is heavenly. Hurts so good kinda deal. Gets me through about 36 hours then I am ready again for anything by that point.

I came across a list while cleaning that I had started that contained all the things I wanted to get done at that point in time and I am quite pleased that at least half of it was done. All my Christmas stuff has been put in the basement. Now that the holidays are over I need to get back to work on my basement. I have so much down there that needs to be thrown away it is kind of taking up room down there. I will have to get my boys to carry it up and out to the road.

My quitting smoking seems to still be work in progress. I had smoked all my bag of tobacco and bought a pack of cigarettes instead. Well then I kept on buying cigarettes which is ridiculous if you are poor. Sooo I bought a bag of tobacco. I don't understand this at all. I want to quit smoking, why does it seem so much harder than last time. It has been a year of false starts and empty self promises. Is it my situation right now. Am I too stressed out? It makes me cry this weakness. This feeeling of wanting something so bad and yet not being able to attain it. It is so important. I want to get off some of these meds but I cannot until I quit smoking. So is going off of psych drugs a mistake until I quit smoking? quitting smoking will allow me to get off of far more meds then just the two psych meds. If I quit smoking I could get off of up to 8 meds. Maybe I should let that be my focus for now instead of getting rid of life line I might need to help me quit smoking...