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Medical Marijuana and trying to get out on my own before the caregiver's disappear. I have space for a small grow room and an expert who is willing to help me. He was very angry when I told him I might have to go back to work. We have known each other for about five years now and are familiar with each other's disabilities. He said it is stupid that now that things are changing that I don't grow for myself. I would only be able to handle for myself because growing is a 24/7 job. He is going to check my basement for mold and then help me get up a wall and has supplies I can use such as lighting. Now I have had some trouble with mold down there but it has been fixed and I don't know if it can be prevented by proper ventilation in the future. I think I have a dehumidifier. So of course my basement is a mess because we had that damn burst pipe and so many things had to be moved from the well pump room into the main area. All my holiday decorations have to now be moved into the corner of the main area from the opposite corner of the basement and things put back in order in the salt room. Fun. All I keep thinking is the kind of pain it is going to cause me to do this. Jared has been informed, is very supportive, Brandon too. I am thinking of working on it now, take a pain pill, taking my alexa down for music and get a start.

I wrote the above about a week ago I think and forgot to hit post lol.

My house is clean. Pretty much all of it. Had that so called game party and so cleaned the house for company. Cleaned my bedroom pretty thoroughly for the first time in a long time. It has been picked up and semi neatened but it hasn't been this clean in a few years I am ashamed to say. Even got the basement some what cleaned. Have to get to the laundry area and one more storage area and go through things. More to give or throw away. I am getting a nice batch of things to sell or give away.

So my goal for my house happened inadvertently lol. It's sad that when the house is clean it is very apparent that the house needs the walls washed or a new paint job. I can do neither, well.....I can but it would take me a year....and a lot of pain.

Brandon has moved in, it was kind of an unspoken agreement. I hate it. I enjoy his company most of the time. We get along pretty great and can laugh our butts off. I suddenly feel a sense of pride at how he turned out. He is pretty great. He has his issues, bipolar, anxiety disorder, ADHD, and a hairtrigger temper but he is a good guy. With some of the worst luck. Great example - When he was about ten me, Brandon and his step-dad were standing in the kitchen laughing about something probably quite mundane and 10 yr old Brandon grabs the salt shaker to toss salt over each shoulder for luck and when he does the lid comes off the salt shaker and then the entire shaker flies out of his hand over his back and lands in the basement stairwell. We laughed and still laugh about it. That sums up his luck. He is quite proud to have a new back breaking job and I am thrilled for him. One huge benefit to his staying here is that he is helping out financially. He is staying in the basement. His roomie got back with his girlfriend so B has been staying with me. Next is a car. He also is courting a young lady. Once again someone who has a child. These days at his age it is hard to find someone without children. It must have been a generational thing. He has not totally recovered from the loss of the kids when Jen left and he sees where he screwed up in that relationship so he is being mindful and careful.

My big Game Night 2 was a total flop. Nobody came, brandon was here with his girl and that was it. Not one damn person out of fifteen so called friends showed up for the game party. Not even the people who missed last time and wanted to come this time. All last minute cancels or no responses at all. I won't be having another. I am hurt....kind of lol. It makes one reevaluate who their friends really are. These were mostly past friends, my Princess has been the glue that has held us together all these years. They have lives and money and I have neither so I was always the one that didn't get invited to the lunches and the drinks. Princess usually tried to include me by taking me out once in a while with her for a lunch or an ice cream. Not in a long time. She got all wrapped up in shawn. Then she started having parties at her house and we all would be together. Not doing it again. Re evaluating friendships. Developing new friendships with my new hobby. I think Brandon was bummed for me. He was a bit miffed that everyone did me like that.

Let's revisit my original list

1. Clean and purge bedroom and get rid of some clothes.
2. Clean and purge bathroom and bathroom closets.
3. Jared's room clean, purge and rearrange, reattach closet doors
4. Clean and purge storage containers in kitchen cabinet.
5. Wash fridge shelves.
6. Clean and purge game closet
7. Dust basement.
8. Wash all odd sundries, rugs, blankets, pillows.
9. Clean garage.
10. Garbage and boxes out of basement.
11. Clean freezer room of basement.
12. Go through stuff in basement and purge.
13. Make a list of life changing things I want to start.

1 done
2 done
3 3/4 done
4 not done
5 done
6 done
7 half done
8 done but is an endless job
9 still too cold
10 2/3 done
11 not done
12 half done
13 done and redone just not accomplished

Okay I can live with this, because that is not all I do. I also have docs, ferals, fostering, rescuing, outreach, vetting. Napping, reading, gaming, facebooking, movie watching, music therapy, loving on my animals which all evens out on the satisfaction scale. That makes me feel gratified. Now if I can keep this in my head I would not feel so useless. Like I accomplish nothing.

Updated 02-21-2019 at 04:25 AM by houghchrst

Chris is babbling again.


  1. funnylegs4's Avatar
    Your doing good in terms of the list all things considered. I saw a story on the news today that too much Medical Marijuana can make a person puke rather than helping them eat and keep food down.
  2. houghchrst's Avatar
    LOL I have never heard that. Well better puking than dying because someone ODed on pain pills. Now I can see coughing until you puke but usually that's the newbies.

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