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houghchrst

I must get this down

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or I may forget but usually I remember these. It was night and I was in a very sleek large building. Almost like some kind of science facility. There was a lot of dream before this but this is what I held on to. I walked out onto a curved balcony, for a second I am facing myself standing there from a distance and get a sense and sight of how big the building is. lots of glass and metal. Oh and the moon, the moon is full, almost like sunlight. The balcony curves out onto the water and the moon is so bright that I can almost feel it on my body. Across a large expanse of water is a sheer natural wall with water running down it like a waterfall and crashing into sea foam that rushes up to an almost phosphorous green at the bottom, glowing with the light of the moon. I look above me and flying in the moonlight is the most beautiful polar bear, shining with backlit moonlight, being carried by a few of the most fuzzy, yellowest adorable baby ducklings. They drop the polar bear into the water and I can see the dark figures of other polar bears swimming towards the right, a mama with her baby getting a free ride partially on her back. I am mesmerized. It is all breathtaking. When I look back up there are two whales diving, as if from the sky, in the moonlight, one is smaller than the other, they dive into the water and disappear from sight. Next I am in the water but it is weightless and I feel more as though I am floating. I swim out to where the water is a crashing frenzy, I want to see how it feels. There is a man swimming just at the edge. We do not interact and next I can feel the pushing and pulling from the frothy mix and decide it is best to get back to the balcony so I begin swimming that way. While I am swimming I am always aware of the life that swims beneath me and always while thrilling there is an apprehension that something may touch me. At the same time I yearn to touch the fish, whales and other sea life that inhabit so many of my dreams since so often I find myself dreaming of the water and swimming in it.

This was two days ago that I dreamed this. I find I have my most vivid dreams just before waking, or maybe it is the other way around. My vivid dreams wake me. I wake from these dreams with such a sense of yearning, almost as though I would rather be there than the waking world. As I get older my dreams are changing. I use to dream of being in a place and in order to get where I wanted to go I would have to go through these impossibly small holes and while I would get through there was always a sense of fear in these dreams as though I was in a haunted house and something was just out of my sight. I don't dream of the impossibly small holes so much any more but I still have the hovering fear in my dreams. I often confront my spirits and with mounting, body freezing fear try to call them out but they don't ever come. so I close the door and go on my way. I have more water dreams and snow too even in the summer. Wonder if this happens because I have to pee during the night lol. I no longer have dreams about being in the bathroom and having to pee since I started wearing night protection.

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