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Chris is babbling again.

trying to change my life one thing at a time

  1. feeling

    incredibly light today. Brandon is gone. We had a fight that became a little physical over cereal and $10. I am fed up with walking on eggshells everyday because he's pissed off at the world all the time. He is paranoid, angry, ungrateful, self centered, suffering from delusions of entitlement. When he is okay we get along famously. Laugh, talk blah, blah, blah. but most of the time I have to talk and walk around his mood. During moments of insightful confessions he knows and acknowledges this. ...
  2. today I feel like a study

    in what happens when you run out of psych meds. I am coming out the other side of my withdrawal which is usually a couple of days of suicidal depression then I start to feel better and begin to doubt the necessity of taking them. I haven't done a psych clean out in decades. The withdrawal was mentally and emotionally agonizing but I was already in a bad place riding the med roller coaster. Dear God, med after med trying to see what would work. I even asked if that can screw up a persons mental chemical ...

    Updated 07-08-2019 at 06:13 AM by houghchrst

    Chris is babbling again.
  3. another one of these

    days where the weather man has covered his ass by predicting thunderstorms, rain and possible sun, warm and muggy. Basically meaning this is Michigan and ya get what ya get. We have a lot of days like that here. It is humorous to read the weather predictions because the little icon is a little bit of sun with a cloud over it with rain and a little lightning bolt coming out of the bottom. To me that means they're not sure but one of those things is going to happen.

    I am sitting here
  4. Looks like summer

    is today lol. Supposed to be almost ninety today. That is an almost twenty degree rise within two days. Thought I would get something done today but I do not function well in the heat. I am so depressed about getting my fence up. I need help but don't know where to get it. I can't pay anyone to help me. I am sick of asking for stuff on FB.

    I got a raise in foodstamps today, thank God. From 170 to 220. Significant enough to make me relax a little. CJ is supposed to come work on my car
  5. I am in one of my

    blah states of mind. So I can say that despite the chaos and things breaking down I am on a plateau of feeling. Not seriously depressed not happy or content just blah. Guess that is better than depressed. I am tired mentally.

    Thought my car was to get fixed this last weekend. That asshat waited until the last minute to order my part so now I have at least another week to go. Stuck home all week again. He says he doesn't mind if I use his car but it is a pain in the butt hauling him

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