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  #1  
Old 04-13-2007, 06:23 PM
xmasjules1 xmasjules1 is offline
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Unhappy I'm am idiot!

I went in to our store and 1 of our team members owed us $50. He gave it to me and I put it in my pocket and got home and it's gone. I remember taking it out and making sure the money was right but it is gone now. I hate being so forgetful. I am so upset now I have been crying for half an hour.
I am so mad at life right now. 3 months of headaches, no brain for remembering anything, I just feel STUPID!!!
I hate the way I am now. I want to find a hole to crawl in and stay there until I get better or it all just ends.
Julie
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  #2  
Old 04-13-2007, 07:15 PM
joey joey is offline
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HI Julie You are not an idiot. I haven't gone for my consults yet, just diagnosed 2 weeks ago, and all this mental strain is making me so forgetful at work and just doing day to day stuff. You have undergone major stuff here. Curl up with your kittie, if you have one and relax. Thinking of you and sending big hugs.
Joey
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  #3  
Old 04-13-2007, 07:52 PM
JulieNH JulieNH is offline
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Alright Julie,
Take a deep breath, did you breathe? OK, take another breath. Trace your steps.... Still haven't figured it out? OK, check to see if you put the money in the till....OK, take YOUR money out of your pocket and pay the $50.00 again, because I know you have the money somewhere, you just didn't put it in the till. You will find it, put it out of your mind. In the big scheme of things, what's $50.00? Is $50.00 life threatening? NO! Screw it, pay the money and move on! You've been through so much more than $50.00 F.....g bucks!

OK, Breathe again. You're not an idiot! You've been through a life changing situation!, only YOU know what! Not me, not your husband, not anyone besides GOD!

As far as going through 3 months of headaches, you need to speak with a neurologist about pain management of those pesky headaches (I'm not downplaying your pain, I've been through those awful headaches. Find a great neurologist, who listens to you and ask for headache relief.).

You need to forgive yourself for the aneurysm. Yes, I said forgive! We women think we have to control every situation! Our businesses, our children, our relationships, our brains.... forgive yourself and move on! Accept the way you are and strive to improve your way of life. If you don't, it's OK! You will when you're up to it!

I'm amazed how angry we all get with ourselves!!!!! We're only human! We make mistakes! We made them before our aneurysms, why wouldn't we make them afterwards?

You are not stupid! You do NOT need a hole to climb into! You do NOT need to wish for the end! God kept you alive for a reason. So many didn't survive! We have all been as frustrated as when you wrote this post! Just know that you're loved right here. We know how you feel.......
JulieNH
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Old 04-13-2007, 10:17 PM
JulieNH JulieNH is offline
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Julie,
I just re-read my last posting. Please forgive me. I have a tendency to write in short sentences which obviously makes me sound angry. This was not my intention at all. I was trying to be supportive and stop you from blaming yourself for what could have happened to anyone; including anyone who hadn't been through aneurysm repair. My point was $50.00 doesn't matter. Please stop being so hard on yourself.

I am amazed how we all get so angry at ourselves, blame ourselves for being imperfect. We are merely human.
JulieNH
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  #5  
Old 04-13-2007, 10:53 PM
FireflyR7 FireflyR7 is offline
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Wink Hi Jules

You poor girl!! You have to not be so hard on yourself!! I know it has been 2 years for me and I still tend to have a little fit and throw something or have a little cry! (Crying hurts my head so bad I try not to as much as poss!!) What is so funny, is now half the people our age are as bad as we are??? You know it's bad when I have to help them finish a sentence!! I just hate when I put my ice cream in the cabinet!!!
You have to have a little patience hun!! I had very little in the begining, but, I have learned a lot!! You should have called me! Isn't this weather terrible!! I usually go out and get a bunch of flowers to plant for my B-day. Should I just go get plastic ones??? I hope we don't get any snow!! All of our trees look terrible!! Apple trees look like a total loss!! Bernie covered what he had just planted in the garden with straw.
I hope you find you money honey!! I will try to call you, try to take it easy!! Love Tricia
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Old 04-14-2007, 12:28 AM
GeePer GeePer is offline
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Default JulieNH

Wow....I just read your post back to Jules, Julie. I told you I read a lot here. Both posts were very good. The first one a little confrontational the second one fixed it. Jules I hope the money was accounted for somewhere.

Glenn
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  #7  
Old 04-14-2007, 10:37 AM
Gabrielli Gabrielli is offline
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JulieNH
Your post were fine...since when is everyone a proof reader here?


ooxx
mimi

Last edited by Gabrielli; 04-14-2007 at 11:24 AM.
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  #8  
Old 04-14-2007, 12:02 PM
snapdragon snapdragon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xmasjules1 View Post
I went in to our store and 1 of our team members owed us $50. He gave it to me and I put it in my pocket and got home and it's gone. I remember taking it out and making sure the money was right but it is gone now. I hate being so forgetful. I am so upset now I have been crying for half an hour.
I am so mad at life right now. 3 months of headaches, no brain for remembering anything, I just feel STUPID!!!
I hate the way I am now. I want to find a hole to crawl in and stay there until I get better or it all just ends.
Julie
Julie ,you are upset right now and I can tell you most of us have been there done that too , you are not alone in what you are feeling . You have been through a lot and yes it is hard to deal with when only a few short mts ago you know ,or think you know that this would never have happened to you , right ? But hun it could have , but right now everything that goes wrong makes you feel as you put it (STUPID!!!) well I for one understand how you feel . You were a strong go getter before this wern't you ? Well Hun don't beat yourself up over the little things , the important thing is you remember that you got paid the $50.00 so you will not wonder why you never got paid what you were owed and the $50.00 will more than likely show up & if not it is something you can use to your advantage , learn from it , next time you get money make it stick in your head by haveing a plan as to where you will always put money . These kind of tricks work and can make life a whole lot easier HUN . Take care and don't sweat the small stuff . Snap
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  #9  
Old 04-14-2007, 01:08 PM
Kath5 Kath5 is offline
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Hi Julie,
hope you are feeling better in yourself now....
Please don't worry and think that you are stupid. It's just one of those things that happen every so often in life that we can't do anything about. If the money turns up then great - if not, then it's a shame, but not worth making yourself ill over.

Take care of yourself and try not to worry,

Hugs,

Kath
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10mm right MCA aneurysm clipped Jan 2007
10mm left MCA aneurysm clipped Apr 2009
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  #10  
Old 04-15-2007, 08:01 AM
hstupno hstupno is offline
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Julie,

You're still recovery. 3 months is NOT a long time in the recovery process. Forgive yourself and cut yourself some slack. You've survived and that makes you anything BUT an idiot. You're a part of that special group that has lived to talk about these darn annies. I know it's painful and hard at times. I WILL get easier.

Also, just a suggestion....seeking professional help. I had been seeing a psychologist well before my annie ruptured and my bi-weekly trips AFTER my annie helped me so much. She's not a neurologist, but she can listen and tell me I have every right to feel like I do and offer me advice on how to deal with the things I'm going through. There is NO shame in seeking help. They're out there and they can help.

I remembered feeling stupid when I couldn't wrap Christmas gifts last year. It was just very, very hard, but then I recalled I just survived a brain procedure. So what if I can't wrap presents just yet. It'll come and if it doesn't...I'll make my boyfriend do it. LOL :-)

Hang in there. Let us know how you're doing.
Heidi
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Ruptured 11mm annie on 10/5/06. Left internal carotid artery. Coiled by Dr. Kwan at Maine Med. Portland, ME. In hospital 3 weeks. 16 coils. Coils compacting Dec. 2010. Stent implanted 3/16/2011 and 5 more new coils added 4/27/2011 by Dr. Ecker. Another small 3mm annie discovered Dec. 2010, monitoring that one. Check out my Brain Blog: http://web.mac.com/hstupno/HeidiWeb/...rain_Blog.html
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