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  #1  
Old 02-01-2008, 11:59 PM
Mark N Mark N is offline
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Location: S. Indiana
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Default my wife has left

I waited to say something in my own post until my wife followed through but I have become another CP statistic as she has left us. She came home for lunch a day ago and said she had an apartment and was moving out this weekend. She called me from work today and said she was coming over and had a couple employees to help her move today. She hadn't bothered to tell our daughter.

She called this evening all upset wondering if our son was angry at her and if our daughter knew she was leaving yet. Well my daughter knew about it and my son was acting as normal as he always does. It did my wife good to find out everyone was doing okay but I worry about that. Her biggest fear is that we didn't need her and now she is proving herself right. She won't stop to think that we love her and miss her not need her.

My daughter is in college so it doesn't have a big impact on her and my son is a freshman in high school but he is doing fine. I flip back and forth between really missing her then later really hurt that she is walking away.

I know that no matter how hard it is my wife is going to leave and be gone or she is going to go through intense counseling and find out why she has these feelings of insecurity and anxiety.

She threatened this many times before and was ready to take the step but back away at the last minute this past summer. She has followed through this time so the I guess the merry-go-round ride is over. At least things will be calmer around here.
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1979 spinal issues, 1993 lumbar microdisectomy L3-4, 1996 360 3 level lumbar fusion L2-5, 1999 open thoractomy fusion T8-9,
2002 C3-7 herniations and T4-7 herniations, 2004 total disability, a new limited life
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  #2  
Old 02-02-2008, 12:14 AM
ke4uzj ke4uzj is offline
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i'm so very sorry for you . but,maybe after she has her breather she will realize she belongs at home . sometimes we just need a little space,and quiet time .
i will pray for you both .
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Old 02-02-2008, 12:16 AM
lisa_d lisa_d is offline
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I'm sorry Mark.

*
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Old 02-02-2008, 01:14 AM
moose53 moose53 is offline
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Unhappy

I'm sorry, too, ((((((Mark))))))



Barb
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  #5  
Old 02-02-2008, 03:40 AM
Shanti Shanti is offline
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Oh Mark...I am so sorry!! I will pray that things work themselves out. If you need anything, please holler.

Hugs!
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Love & Health To All,
Shanti (Find me on MySpace & Facebook)

DX's: L4/5 herniation ('98), DDD, DJD, T11/12 herniation w/endplate changes & 10% wedging/focal kyphosis/canal stenosis, cervical spondylosis C4-6, endplate changes L1-S1, L4/5 reherniation ('08), L5/S1 canal stenosis/central herniation ('08). Surgeries: Failed L4/5 IDET ('99), Failed L4/5 open microdiscectomy ('00), L4/5 TLIF (April '08).
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Old 02-02-2008, 04:05 AM
champ champ is offline
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I'm so sorry Mark. Don't give up hope. My husband and I just came through a very rough time. Things can turn around.

Praying for your whole family tonight...
Champ
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Old 02-02-2008, 05:02 AM
secretbard secretbard is offline
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Sorry to hear that Mark. I just PMed you. My wife left me in October. If not for a few friends, I don't think I would have lived through the loss on top of the pain. I also lost my house to the bank as well. If you ever need someone to talk to, just e-mail or PM me.
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Head-on car accident with drunk driver in 2003... 2 disc herniations, sciatica, stenosis, ulcerated swelling and bleeding of the sacral area of extreme lower back... Disabled.
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Old 02-02-2008, 06:23 AM
MomtoM MomtoM is offline
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I'm so sorry, Mark, that it finally came to this.
It is so sad about the kids not really caring. To be a mother and have the realization at this point that you no longer are in their lives in an important way...heartbreaking for the children and their loss and for you to see the effect on your wife and the kids.
I know you were cautiously hoping that things were going to be good last time and I'm sorry it didn't last.
Take it slow and easy on yourself. You and the kids are going to need each other even if they say it doesn't matter.
Hugs to all of you...
Deb
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  #9  
Old 02-02-2008, 06:47 AM
simby simby is offline
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((((((((((((((((((((((((((Mark)))))))))))))))))))) ))))
I am so sorry about this. I know its been threatened for a very long time. I am glad that you seem to be dealing ok for the circumstances.

I don't have any words of wisdom, Mark, but know that i am thinking of you and wishing the best.
hugs,
sims

I belong to a site that could be helpful during this time. PM me if you would like the link.

hugs again,
sims
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  #10  
Old 02-02-2008, 11:49 AM
Mark N Mark N is offline
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I want to thank each of you for the care and support you give me. It really helps me deal with this as I flip back and forth right now. A times I really miss her and other times I am angry about what she is doing. I will come to terms with what is going on and keep an eye on the kids. They know they can make any choice with their mom and I won't put them in the middle. My son needs to decide how much he is going to let her be a part of his life. She used to take him to school every morning so that is one decision he will make. He will also have to decide how much time he will spend at her apartment and how often he wants to go. I know I will do the right thing for the kids and not let my hurt get in the way. Thank you so much for your words as they encourage me.
__________________
1979 spinal issues, 1993 lumbar microdisectomy L3-4, 1996 360 3 level lumbar fusion L2-5, 1999 open thoractomy fusion T8-9,
2002 C3-7 herniations and T4-7 herniations, 2004 total disability, a new limited life
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